The Lucky Ones [Watty Awards 2012]

Relapse

It took 6 months for me to stop crying about him, in that time I had a total of 10 'boyfriends' to keep my mind busy but it didn't work, I couldn't forget about Evan. Do you know how hard it is to forget someone who meant the world to you? He left me haunted and I wanted him desperately.

Luckily one of those guy, Shane, stayed to be my best friend and helped me out even though I hurt him time and time again. Unlike the others I actually cared about him and started to feel love again but things were too complicated to even build a stable relationship, and there was too much distance between us.

Ever since Evan I haven't been able to trust people anymore and I've gotten myself in some pretty messed up situations so instantly I went on self-destruct mode and did everything I could to destroy the friendship.

As stupid as it sounds I stand by my decision to ruin a perfectly good friendships, it took allot out of me and it hurts but It's worth it I guess. I was frightened of what could have been and after Evan; I'm still trying to learn how to trust people again. Instead of using them for emotional support until I get bored. That's also another reason; I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if I hurt Andrews’s feelings. Therefore I hurt my pride instead. But a part of me regrets the choice, which is why I'm writing this. If someone hurts you then try again, don't give up on it all or else you'll miss a great chance, like I did.

You know how in movies and books you can generally tell what will happen at the end? Somehow there is always a happily ever after, due to some odd twist of events. For the most of us these things never happen or last however if you think of the fact there are what, 7 billion people in the world it makes sense to come up to the conclusion that these fairy tale endings do happen for the minority. I think it's magical for those people. The lucky ones but that's not me.