The Lucky Ones [Watty Awards 2012]

Monster: The Past

Reflecting on the person I became I'm glad to say I’ve changed and grown up. Yes, I may have a 'heart of stone' but I’m over the mistakes and errors of my past. I am moving forward.

Finding the road I am on now was hard, i wont lie.

I got told that if I wanted to forget about Evan I should find another guy and hopefully they would fill the void. 

Maybe I might even ‘find the one’.

Did I?

No, not at all.

I played the guys at their own game. I would target, and tell them I loved them then brake up with them when i got bored. I never meant a word of what I said. There was an emptiness that needed to be filled and I tried, unfortunately it was using the wrong techniques but at the time I didn’t know better.

Deep down I knew what I was doing, manipulating them for my own emotional balancing but i didn't care. Getting the technique right was almost like a trial and error experiment. I had to get the balancing right of how emotionally attached i would make the guy.

Soon enough I got lost in the game, believing that I did care for my victim but when the day came that we broke up, I didn’t shed a tear and most of all, I didn’t give a damn.

I was doing fine for a few months then one day I made a mistake. I call it a mistake because it’s now ruined our friendship. I dated yet another best friend of mine. Shane.