The Lucky Ones [Watty Awards 2012]

Monster Preview!

Honesty is the best policy. So this is me. I am raw.

Ever wondered what happens after someone’s first break- up? After all the crying and pain. Well for me I became the opposite of what I once was. I became a monster.

I’ve been called a monster/ bitch/ manipulative c*** and a charmer/ vixen by guys many times. Before, during and after the relationships.

Why? I’ll explain that now.

I’ll fill up the gaps I left in the lucky ones.

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Prologue

I am not a girl who believes in fairy-tale endings. Sadness is never ending.

When in a relationship we somehow feel obligated to make promises, as if to prove our love, whatever that word means. Nowadays I don’t need that, I don’t even need to be told I love you, I need proof, visual proof that you care, otherwise I won’t let you waste my time.

I think promises should only be made if you mean them 100%.

I mentioned before I had about 10 boyfriends after Evan, as a sort of therapy. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have had almost every type of guy possible. Emos, fetish freaks, perfect guy, softies etc.

I was experimenting.

At first, I thought I just wanted somebody to make me feel the way Evan did but now I realise I wanted to be hurt. Hurt so badly that I’d forget all about Evan.

I know it sounds weird, even to me it doesn’t even make complete sense but if you’ve had your heart ruthlessly broken by someone, you know it’s not the fact you trusted the person that hurts. It’s trying to get it into your head that the person you loved was nothing short of an asshole. It is hard to accept so before this you start blaming yourself, wondering what you did wrong and ways to get them back etc. But you always find yourself short of answers.  

I won’t bore you into details of all the guys I dated, I'm sure you would get bored and they aren’t that important but I’ll tell you about my steps to recovery and about Shane.