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Ragged breaths pass my lips as I sit up in my bed, chest heavy. That stupid nightmare still won't go away, and I have absolutely no idea how to stop it besides stop sleeping altogether, which is not possible without completely accepting death.
I glance around to see the rest of the squad and note that I hadn't woken any of them up. They all seem to be perfectly fine, asleep silently in their bunks. I envy them for getting the good nights sleep I haven't had in weeks.
I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, hoping to get rid of the rising panic. The short whimper that escapes my lips is muffled as I shove my face into my hands. Then I hear someone twist in their bed, so I dive under the covers before anyone can see that I was awake.
I wait like that until the reveille in the morning. I shrug my aching shoulders and fix my bed, then pull on my jumpsuit and tie my boots. When Reznik comes in, he goes for Zombie this time. I manage not to flinch when Reznik shoves his fist into his stomach. When we do our laps, I fall back with Zombie and actually let him take the last lap this time, because I don't have enough strength to do it today. If Reznik orders me to do a hundred knuckle push-ups, I think I'll die.
P&D is the same as always: Teacup sticks with me, because we are excellent partners; Flintstone and I bitch about the smell; Oompa looks as sick as he always does when surrounded by dead bodies; Nugget almost cries over his dead sister and Zombie comforts him.
I was going to tell Zombie while we changed that I was probably going to be a major bitch the rest of the day, but opted out of it when he had to help out Nugget again. He didn't need another weight on his shoulders today.
Reznik orders us outside straight after lunch. We already know what's in store and none of us are excited. Every once in a while, Reznik makes us do an obstacle course. We never know when and we are never prepared for it. It leaves out bodies aching for days, begging for a break. But we know we have to do it, so we try our hardest and get it done as quickly as possible.
Nugget, surprisingly, is the fastest. He completes the course way before any of us do. Reznik praises him for three seconds and then starts barking at the rest of us to hurry up. I want to hit him.
My ankle twists halfway through. I gasp as tears prick my eyes, sharp pains shooting up my entire leg. Poundcake notices and helps me up and over the climbing wall, and so I help him with the rope on the other side. By the time we finish, we're in first and I'm limping due to my swollen ankle.
I'm forced to deal with it until free time, when Zombie tries to get me to go to medical again, but I mutter profanities and hobble to the bathroom to shower. It was just a little sore and besides, I twisted it once before and it was better the next day. Nothing to worry about.
When Zombie comes in for our talk, he doesn't know what to say and that much is obvious.
"I don't know what to say," he says after a moment of standing in front of me in silence.
