DESTRUCTION, BEN PARISH ( 1 )

TEN

The rest of the squad is in bed five minutes later. Dumbo seems nervous to sleep-- nightmares, I assume-- but I, of course, don't comment on it. The only other person I can see from here is Flintstone, but his eyes are closed and his breathing is slow. I don't know if he's faking it.

"Zombie?"

I freeze. It's Nugget's voice coming from the bunk beside Zombie's and while his voice is barely above a whisper, I worry Reznik will jump through the door and reprimand all of us for speaking after lights-out.

Like he knows what we're all thinking, Zombie whispers, "no talking after lights-out."

"I can't sleep."

I grit my teeth and move to lay on my side, the creaking of my mattress against the metal beneath it like a banshee screaming in the night. Flintstone winces from the bed beside mine. I knew he wasn't sleeping.

"Close your eyes and think of something nice."

"Can we pray? Is that against the rules?"

I almost snort. Pray? To what? God doesn't give a shit about us, kid. The aliens wiped out almost our entire population in under four months and He did nothing. He watched us die and He didn't do a damn thing. There's nothing left to pray to. Not anymore.

And then I feel terrible for feeling that way. Nugget is five-years-old and his entire life blew up right in front of his face-- he could pray any time he wanted too. If that was what helped him get through this, he could do it.

Zombie's reply is quieter this time. "Sure you can pray. Just not out loud."

More creaking as Nugget moves around his bunk. I can hear the tears in his voice as he chokes out his next reply. "Cassie always said my prayer with me."

"Who's Cassie?"

"I told you."

"I forgot."

"Cassie's my sister. She's coming for me."

"Oh, sure."

I bite my lip when Nugget starts mumbling about the promise his sister made to him-- the promise that he would come for him. It was obvious she was dead by now. If she was too old to get on the bus, if she was left behind with the adults that were probably killed by Silencers, she was dead. I don't know how he hasn't figured it out yet.

Nugget sobs and I find Ghost is annoyed at him. She turns on her side and wraps the sides of her pillow around her head to cover her ears, grumbling in annoyance. Sofia aches to comfort him. Ghost punches her in the face and leaves her behind, begging to come out.

"Hey, it's all right, Nugget..."

"Hey, stow that over there!" Flintstone calls out softly.

"Yeah," Tank says. "You wanna get us busted, Zombie?"

"Zombie," I hiss, silently begging him to shut the kid up. It was kind of a well known thing that the barracks were bugged and Reznik could hear everything said in here. If it was true, we would be peeling potatoes until our fingers bled.

The groan of a mattress. The sound of Zombie patting the rough fabric. "Come here. I'll say your prayer with you, and then you can go to sleep, okay?"

As Nugget climbs from his bed to lay next to the boy, Teacup grumbles in annoyance. "Someone shut that kid up."

"You're a kid, too," Flintstone retorts quickly. I roll my eyes. Teacup may be seven, but she was pretty badass. She was very mature and she could hold her own. The sooner people learned that, the better.

"Shut up, Flintstone," I grit out. "You're gonna start shit."

For once, everyone seems to agree with me.

"What prayer does she say with you?" Zombie whispers to Nugget. Nugget pauses.

"'Now I lay with me,'" he starts.

"Somebody put a pillow over that nugget's face," Dumbo says. He's leaning over the edge of his bunk, peering across the room at Nugget and Zombie. I catch his eye but he adverts them seconds later. He's still scared of me. Good.

"'Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,'" Zombie replies. The image of him all dressed up in a button up shirt and some black jeans singing Hallelujah enters my brain and I almost laugh. I never expected him to know it.

Then again, I also know the prayer.

"When in the morning light I wake, teach me the path of love to take," I find myself whispering. A moment of silence hits the barracks and my stomach twists. I don't know why I joined in. Habit, I guess. Or maybe not. I haven't prayed in months.

Someone hurls a pillow at Zombie and the boy curled into his side. They keep praying. I twist in my position and screw my lips shut. I can't join in. Joining in means opening up in some dark, weird way. I won't do that.

"'Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Your angels watch me through the night, and keep me safe till morning's light.'"

Everyone stops objecting halfway through the last sentence. The two boys voices become almost silent on the last stanza, almost like they never want to stop. They don't want to stop because they know that reality is terrifying and they may never get to say it again.

Teacup whimpers from the bunk above me and a rush of sadness hits me, followed by anger. That kid might have been the nicest fucking kid on the playground six months ago. She might have had an easy bake oven and stole her siblings things like every little kid does, and she might have prayed like Nugget still does.

And now she is just accustomed to the fact she probably won't make it to her eighth birthday. She'll die on the field fighting against aliens that killed her entire family and soon, her entire race.

It's wrong and God, I wish I could make it right. It's fucked up that this is happening to her and Nugget, and everyone else in this fucking room. We're just kids. We shouldn't be trained like soldiers just to die in an unwinnable battle. We shouldn't have to be.

I join in on the last sentence because I think Teacup wants to, but doesn't know how.

"'And if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.'"