polaroids | awsten knight

polaroid seven

The seventh polaroid was taken in the middle of nowhere.

Once again, it was a road trip that brought us to our destination. This time, we planned it out and wasn't passed ten at night. Otto would be driving us down, and wouldn't tell us where we were going.

I got dressed and packed a bag with my camera, running over to Otto's since he didn't want to waste gas driving a few houses over. That day I put on anything I could find because I knew that where we were going, it would be messy. That's just how Otto was.

We drove first to your place. I hope this warms your heart when I tell you that right as Otto stopped his pickup, I hopped into the back seat, waiting to sit next to you. You came out in a short sleeve shirt and pants, pretending like it was scortching hot outside.

Maybe Otto didn't tell you I was coming along because when you opened the door to the backseat and saw me, you froze. This was the first time I'd seen you since you had given me the mixtape, so we had a lot to talk about.

I had the seat by the window, and you sat in the middle. When Jawn and Geoff came along, Geoff sat in the front and Jawn sat in the back with us.

"Thanks for the CD," I mumbled, staring ahead at the open road instead of at you. "It really meant a lot, not sure you know that."

You smiled and said you're welcome. I wanted to actually talk to you about the songs you chose. The first was my favourite song, then it was your favourite song. It changed after that. The third was a love song. I thought it didn't have a meaning, that was until I listened to the rest.

The fourth was more of a personal love song. The fifth was upbeat, without a meaning. Then, the cycle started over.

"Oh," you breathed. "Yeah, it's no problem." The meaning to the mixtape was the same to the two of us, yet neither of us had to courage to talk about it. Also, we couldn't talk more about because I didn't want to embarrass you in front of our friends.

We drove down a highway, singing stupidly along to eighties hits that played on the radio. That stopped once we hit our midway point; a gas station.

Otto rushed inside to use the restroom, while Geoff and Jawn simply went in to buy chocolate bars. Unlike them, we only got out of the vehicle and leaned against it.

While we stood, I found the silence unbearable. Of course, the kind of person I am, I just couldn't handle another second without talking. "Do you want to kiss me?."

That came off as too forward, as you choked on the air you were breathing. "Was the CD that obvious?" You said as if you didn't include The Only Exception by Paramore.

I smiled at you, as you were still struck that I was so okay with it. "Why didn't you try and kiss me?" I asked, looking directly at you, while you were too embarrassed to even stare in my direction.

Before you could answer, the three boys came out of the gas station. "Let's go!" Otto shouted, jumping into the driver's seat. I sighed and got in, sitting right in the middle this time. Jawn got to the front before Geoff could, making Geoff groan in defeat.

I wasn't upset at you, I could never be, at least not at this stupid thing. If I hadn't done that dramatic sigh, you wouldn't have felt like you've done something wrong.

We got back onto the road, and I knew there was a lot of area between us and the destination. The midpoint wasn't even really a midpoint, we just stopped there because our driver had to piss.

You wouldn't sing along anymore, and I knew it was because of me. The high tempo songs felt dull without your voice.

"I'm tired," I yawned. It had only been a little over an hour since I had originally woken, but it was normal to feel tired after waking up. "Wake me up when we're close."