Dance on Main Street

Day 23

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When I woke up in the early morning without Luke's arms around my waist I panicked a bit. First thing I did was grab my phone. If he texted me or called me I wanted to know. Its really not like him to just leave. When nothing but a missed call from Tyler came up I really started to panic. I jumped up out of the bed and checked the bathroom, then Calum's room, Ashton's room, Michaels room, and the kitchen. I could not find him and was crying now. My tears made my laugh sound strained when I found him lightly strumming his guitar on the balcony.
"Belle?!" Luke asks jumping up. I run and jump on him. He gladly hugs me back. I was still hiccuping a little but had stopped crying. Luke slowly lowered me back down.
"Jesus, I thought you were dead or something!" I yelled at him slapping his chest. His eyes widen and he grabs my hands.
"I didn't think you would wake up. And just because I wasn't laying there doesn't automatically make me dead, Bee." He says lightly smiling. I frown and hand him my phone.
"Well Tyler called and I couldn't find you anywhere." I tell him with a serious look on my face. His face falls and he pulls me back into a soft hug. He pulls me over to the chair he was in and sits me on his lap. I tug his guitar into my lap.
"Don't ever cry over me." He whispers strumming his guitar. I nod and relax into him. After a minute of just him randomly playing I recognize a song.
"I don't wanna fight no more
Only wanna get to shore
Baby, don't slam the door tonight
We ran another off the tracks
That's time we can't get back
But, we can save tomorrow if we try." He sings. I smile and close my eyes listening.
"Oh, 'til we make this right
Oh, I won't say, "Good night."
I just wanna make you laugh
I just wanna see that smile
Babe, we're only here, oh, for a little while
I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep
I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace
Everybody needs a place
Somewhere that's warm and safe
A shelter from this crazy world we're in,
But tonight I let the rain inside
And took away your place to hide
I'm sorry that I made you cry again." Luke puts his head right next to mine while he sings. I lean my head against his and start to sing along.
"Oh, we can make this right,
Oh, kiss me good night
I just wanna make you laugh
I just wanna see that smile
Babe, we're only here, oh, for a little while
I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep
I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace
Yeah, I want peace
Oh, we don't have to fight
Oh, just kiss me all night
'Cause I want peace, yeah
I just wanna make you laugh
I just wanna see that smile
Babe, we're only here, oh, for a little while
I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep
I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace
I just wanna make you laugh
I just wanna see that smile
Babe, we're only here, oh, for a little while
I just wanna hold you till you fall asleep." Luke stops singing while I finish the song. His lips hold a kiss to my neck.
"I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace,
I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace." I finish the song. He slowly puts down the guitar and wraps his arms around my stomach. He trails kisses up and down my neck giving me chills.
"I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, angel baby." Luke whispers. I smile and turn sideways in his lap so I can see him. He's smiling, showing that wonderful dimple. After a second he starts to smirk and I realize that I've kinda been staring at him. I blush and bury my face in his neck. He laughs and wraps his arms tightly around my back.
"Stop it." I whine. "You're cute." Luke says still laughing. "Stappp!" I yell. "You were so checking me out." Luke says. I sit up and shake my head.
"I was simply noticing how messy your hair was." I sass before standing up. He breaks into a fit of laughter. I walk into the kitchen and start the coffee machine. While I'm pouring mine, Luke's arms hug me from behind.
"Lukey wants some too." He says. I chuckle and just pour more into my cup to share. He spins me around and kisses my forehead. "Thank you baby." He whispers. I turn back around and hold his cold hands on the mug. His cold nose nuzzles into my neck. He rocks back and forth on his feet while we drink our coffee in silence.
"Oh man, they're being cute again!" Calum yells as he walks in. I giggle and roll my eyes. He pulls out his phone and takes a picture while I'm laughing.
"Calum!" I scold him. It doesn't sound very scary because I'm laughing to hard. Liz walks in already dressed. She smiles at Luke and I before opening the fridge.
"Did we have breakfast?" She asks. We all shake our heads no. "It's almost 9!" she says in disbelief. Luke, Calum, and I all laugh at her surprised reaction.
"We don't usually wake up until 10:00 at least, mum." Luke says. Her eyes widen and she shakes her head in disbelief. Calum slides into a chair at the island and angrily types at his phone. I grab Luke's hand and tug him to the chairs. I slide in next to Calum and nudge his shoulder.
"What's up bestie?" I ask. He slides his phone across the table and puts his head in his hands. I lay my head on his shoulder and rub circles on his back.
"Zoe keeps texting me." He mumbles. I immediately shoot my head up and start to jump over the table. Luke snaps into action almost immediately and grabs me pulling me back. I try to stretch my arms to reach the phone. I'm gonna kill her. She can't ruin everything in my life.
"Bee, calm down. I'm sure Cal has handled it." Luke says. I sit back in my chair and give a questioning look to Calum. He looks all around the room pursing his lips. I jump at him and grab at his neck. Luke has one arm around me and the other he's using to drink his coffee like I weigh nothing.
"You didn't tell her off!" I growl still reaching for him.
"I know this isn't really my business but why is Calum in trouble?" Liz asks stirring pancake mix. I give up and slam my hands onto the table.
"Zoella is my abusive boyfriends sister who locked me in his room so that I couldn't run while he beat me. She did absolutely nothing and told absolutely nobody. Calum brought her along somewhere with him and I told her off. But turns out he kept talking to her and he told her where we were. Zoella told Tyler and he found us. Now he doesn't even have the guts to tell her to leave us alone!" I explain pushing my chair back and storming out.
While picking my clothes out angrily Sawyer walks in and sits on the bed. I grab my black sleeveless sweatshirt, a black tank top, jean shorts, and socks. Shes a girl so I just pull off my pants and pull the shorts on. After getting dressed I stand in front of her and cross my arms.
"I'm in a bitchy mood, what do you need?" I ask. She sighs looks down at her hands.
"I heard you talking to Liz, what happened between you and this Tyler guy?" She asks. I take a deep breath and sit criss cross in front of her.
-
After telling Sawyer everything, including the stuff about me being beat but not about being raped, I decide to go on a walk. I don't want everyone to pity me or treat me like I was fragile. Yah, I guess I am sort of fragile but I don't want everyone to treat me like that. Even Luke has started to do it.
"I'm out with Conan!" I yell walking towards the door. Immediately Luke told someone to come with me. "I'm a big girl Lucas." I say rolling my eyes.
"No you're not!" He yells back. Liz comes over smiling. "He's very protective." She whispers. I laugh and nod. After saying goodbye to everyone we leave.
"Do you like my Luke?" Liz asks halfway through the walk. At first I'm surprise but then I roll my eyes.
"Did he set you up to this?" I ask. She laughs and shakes her head. "No no no! Just girl talk. I heard and saw you two this morning and I think you like each other." She says nudging my shoulder. It would be good to have some girl help with this. Sawyer just says 'awww' or 'you guys are cute' the entire time.
"I mean, yah, I guess." I tell her. "Honey, you don't have to guess. I know you two have something other than best friends going on. Honestly I think Luke would do just about anything for you. He's never acted the way he does around you before." She says smiling.
"Okay so yah, I like Luke. We really are just best friends though! And he told me he's been in love before, so maybe you just never got to see him with her." I say shrugging.
"Oh Bellerose, he was talking about you! Poor boy is awful at hiding things. He might as well say your name in all his new songs! I really do think he likes you a lot." She says grinning proudly.
"Liz, even if for some reason he did, we're both to scared. He's my closest friend and I don't want that to change. If we ever went out and then fought and broke up, I would lose Luke. Right now, Luke is the only thing I can really hold onto." I tell her honestly. We stop at a bench and sit down. Liz sighs and looks out at the buildings.
"What do you like about Luke?" She asks. "What do you mean?" I ask cofused. "I mean, what makes you like him so much?" She asks again. I tuck my legs up and think for a second.
"Is everything a good answer? I like how when he smiles that one dimple pops up. I like when he wakes up and his hair is all ruffled up. Or when he's playing a game and scrunches up his eyebrows. I like when he's confused he tilts his head a little to the side. And when he laughs so hard he closes his eyes. I like how he just goes wherever the wind takes him. Luke Hemmings is like a novel, it feels like it never ends. Its full of mystery, excitement, sorrow, secrets, and yet has a plot line that makes perfect sense. When you reach the end of the book you're sad because its over but happy because now you know it all. Luke isn't ever missing when I excuse myself to cry over my awful life or hate myself because of it. He's always there doing things for everyone but himself. I like when he performs on stage and sings like nothing in the world could possibly make him happier. Or when he looks out at the crowd like he wants to personally thank every one of them. Famous people are usually all stuck up and bossy because everyone tells them who they have to be. Luke makes sure everyone knows that he isn't being someone else and if they don't like that then to bad. I like Luke because he promised to be my best friend and here he still is. He's here with the little, dancing, anxiety freak." I tell her honestly forgetting that I was talking to anyone. It felt like I was telling myself all the reasons of why he's such a great person and that it would be fine to love him.
"Bellerose dear, you don't like him. You love him." Liz says smiling. I groan and put my face into my hands. "Why are you doing that? Love is a fun exciting thing!" Liz says clapping happily.
"I can not love my best friend." I mutter. She sighs and pats my back. "Why not?" She asks. "Because I need him there. I need him to be my best friend and not have to worry about me all the time. My life is a snowball rolling down Mount Everest. It gradually gets bigger until it hits the bottom and crushes someone. If I let myself love him the snowball's just gonna crush him." I explain. Why does it sound like I'm pitying myself? You are a horrible person.
"Everyone's life is a snowball, Bellerose. But you need someone at the bottom to stop it from getting any bigger or hurting anyone else. I think Luke is in love with you. The way he talks about you is the same way you talk about him."
"Liz stop! No, I don't love him, he doesn't love me. We can't be together because I'm not ruining his life while he tries to piece mine back together." I say standing up.
"You can't hide love Bellerose." Liz says sadly. We walk in silence the rest of the trip until the puppy has a break down. Conan tries to drag me towards someone so I have to use all my muscle to pull him back but he was already right next to them. He barks and tries to jump on him.
"Conan stop! Sit!" I say sternly. He obeys and plops down on the ground. As I walk over to apologize Conan is growling at the guy. "I'm so sorry about," I start.
"Well Bellerose, didn't know you got a dog." Tyler says smirking. I don't have the patience or time for this. I spin on my heels to walk away when he grabs my shoulder. I turn back and get in his face.
"Leave me, my boys, and especially Luke alone. I'm done with you, and tell your little sister to leave me alone as well." I growl before turning and quickly walking away. Liz is standing with Conan looking like she's walking through a haunted house. I take the leash and start to walk. We walk all over the place incase he was following us.
When we finally get to the hotel we run in hot and out of breath. My hands are shaking horribly and my head is hurting. I need to get in the room! As soon as the doors of the elevator open I sprint out. Conan is in my arms so when the room door opens I put him down and run into my room. I lock the door and slide down just in time.
🐧
I hear someone come running in and a door slam. Anne and I both get up and walk to the door. Mum walks in looking guilty and sad. Belle. I run to our room and try to open the door. Locked.
"Ashton I need that key." I say running back to the living room. He gets up and pulls it out of the cabinet. I take it and run back to the room. I quickly unlock the door and look around for Belle. She's crying and holding her chest. I bend down in front of her but she starts to crawl away.
"Bee." I say softly. She starts to cry harder and I quickly get up. "Get away from me." She chokes out. I storm out to the living room. I point to my mum and then to her and Joys room. She gets up with her head down.
"Okay, before you start, I'm sorry." She says when I close the door. I fall onto my knees and hold my head in my hands and put my forehead on the ground.
"Oh my god mum, what did you do?" I ask. She sighs and crouches down next to me rubbing my back.
"Well all I did was ask her about you guys. I told her how I thought you loved each other. You should've heard all the nice things she said about you." Mum says smiling but then goes back to serious, "but when I talked about you guys maybe being in love she got upset. She said how you were best friends and all different things." She finishes. I look at her bewildered.
"Why would say that? Mum! You don't ask somebody if they love their best friend!" I say shaking my head.
"Do you love her?" She ask with eyebrows raised. I groan and lay my head in her lap.
"Yah." I mumble. "Exactly. I think she might too, she's just to scared to admit it." She says. "If I were her I would be too. Belle has gone through so much and after thinking she was in love she got broken. Like permanently broken. I can't love her though. I've been figuring out ways to move on, or stop loving her, or push her away and I can't! I can't do it! I need her but I'm just going to mess up, I always do. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing, who I am! I just know I need Bellerose." I vent.
"Luke Hemmings is like a novel, it feels like it never ends. Its full of mystery, excitement, sorrow, secrets, and yet has a plot line that makes perfect sense. When you reach the end of the book you're sad because its over but happy because now you know it all." Mum says as if she's reciting something. I give her a confused look and she smiles sadly at me. "That's how Belle decided to explain you. A novel." She says.
"Belle's a firefly. She dances around lighting up all the dark around her. She so beautiful you could watch forever. All you want to do is hold on to her forever but you can't because you know she'll die. A beautiful mystery." I tell her. Mum smiles and kisses my cheek. "Mum, you may have made her upset but that's not what she's freaking about. It may be why she pushed me away, but not why she's having a panic attack." I say sighing.
"Maybe it was that boy we ran into!" Mum suggests. I snap my head up and grab my mums arms. "What was his name?" I ask. "I didn't hear it. But he was in a black sweatshirt, had blonde hair, and a scary dragon tattoo. The dog hated him. Belle said something that caught him off guard before walking away." Mum says shrugging. I jump to my feet and run out of the room towards mine. I run in and stop when I see Belle sitting on the edge of the bed. Her back is facing me as she stares out the window. She's holding her arms but I can tell she's shaking. She could continually push me away but I plan on running back every time.
"What?" She asks quietly. I sit next to her and put my hand palm up on my thigh. Her small shaky hand places itself directly in mine. I curl my fingers over hers and hold it tight. "Why'd you come back?" She asks.
"Bee I'll always come back." I whisper. I lay back on the bed pulling her with me. She curls into me and hugs me like I'll disappear. "Why'd you push me away?" I ask softly.
"I don't know. I was freaking out and needed to be mad at someone and you were the closest person. After you left i was like, fuck Im screwed." She says giggling at the end. I chuckle and swing our legs up onto the bed.
"What'd you do, like when you saw him?" I ask curious. She shifted so her face wasn't pressed to my chest.
"I just told him to leave us alone. I kinda got all up in his face before marching off." She says smirking. I kiss her head and rub her back.
"Good girl. You know I'm surprised you said that to him, you're a goody good girl." I tell her. She gasps and hits my chest playfully.
"I am not a good girl! When I was dating Tyler I always would sneak out my window to see him. I also got a fake ID because he's a year older and could get into a club. There really is no such thing as a good girl. Good girls are just bad girls that haven't been caught." She says. When did she become a preacher?
"That's deep Bee." I tell her. She rolls her eyes and nuzzles back in my chest. "Are you tired baby?" I ask. "mhm." She mumbles.
"You have to cuddle me till I fall asleep then you can go." She whispers. "I'm not going anywhere." I whisper back kissing her head.
-
-
"Bitch get up!" Ashton yells jumping on the bed.
"Oh Ash, I should've woken them up! You're not nice!" Mum scolds him. I groan and push Ashton off me. "Luke, are you awake?" She asks quietly.
"Why the hell did you wake me up?" I groggily ask. Belle shifts so her legs are tucked up to my chest. I rub up and down her cold legs.
"We have a surprise meeting so you gotta get dressed." Ashton says pulling mum out with him. Belle whines and squeezes her arms tighter around me. "Joy, Anne, and Kendall are staying with Belle!" Ash yells.
"Alright, gotta get up Bee baby." I say shifting her to the side so I can get up.
"Don't leave! It's so cold." Belle whines. I laugh and pick up the extra blanket off the floor and put it on top of her and the duvet. "I guess that will do." She mumbles. I grab a sweater, some black skinnys, and my black sneakers. I don't even check if Belles watching me change. I throw on the clothes and grab hair gel. On the side of the bed Belle is facing I bend down to her face level.
"Please?" I ask. She groans and sits up a little. I hand her the gel and she puts it in her hand. She runs her hands through my hair to perfectly get it into its spot. I'm way to lazy to do it myself so its a major plus Belle can do it flawlessly.
"All done." Belle says smiling. I kiss her head and stand up. "What are you doing while I'm gone?" I ask. "Showering, eating, talking, and cuddling the dog." Belle says rolling her eyes. "Good." I say turning to walk out the door. "Wait!" She calls after me. I turn around and she's getting up with the blankets still wrapped around her. I sling an arm over her shoulder and walk out with her.
"Dayum Belle is that dress Gucci designer?" Sawyer asks as we walk into the living room. Belle flips her off before walking over to Calum. He hugs her and spins them around. Jealousy is dreadful. She hands him something before whispering with him. Michael goes behind her and picks her up. She laughs and I can't help but smile. Kendall looks like she might punch somebody and is pouting in a corner. After everyone says bye I walk over to Belle.
"Bye penguin boy. Don't have to much fun." She says winking and sauntering off to the bedroom. I watch her walk to the room until Calum snaps me out of it to drag me to the car.
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Turns out Belle gave Calum her writing notebook. It had a few random cord lines and lyrics that he worked off of. She said it could be his 'inspiration'.
We wrote and worked out the meet and greet details for three hours before Paul sent us back. The whole car ride I was for some reason really anxious. My knee was bouncing up and down while I pulled on my lip ring with my teeth. Calum kept pushing on my knee so it would stop moving.
"Mate, you've been away from her for what, four hours now?" Ashton asks laughing. I look at him confused as I continued to anxiously bounce my knee. "That's why you're anxious! You're away from Belle and you get all giddy!" Ashton explains. I stop bouncing my knee and think about it. Is that really it? Am I anxious because I left without her?
"Oh, leave him alone." Mum tries to defend me. I roll my eyes and put in headphones. Just what I need, mum fighting for me.
We pull up to the hotel and I jump out of the car. Everyone heads to the elevator but I go to the stairs. I reach our floor just as the elevator does. We all walk to the room and go in. I see Belle laughing and drinking coffee on the couch with Kendall and Joy. Thinking I would calm down I sit next to her.
"Are you alright Luke?" Belle asks putting her hand on my knee. I realize its still bouncing. I nod and start to bite on my nails. They all continue their conversation while every so often Belle glances my way. "Okay for real Luke! Whats up? You literally can't sit still!" Belle exclaims facing me. I chew on my lip and stand up not responding. I have no idea why I can't sit still. In the room I pace around in circles. Belle walks in with a worried expression. I ignore her worried looks and grab a pair of basketball shorts. I pull my skinnys off and throw them on.
"Luke you're scaring me." Belle whimpers. I walk over to her and grab her hands. "I'm scaring me too." I whisper before walking out the door. At first she doesn't follow but by the time I reach the door I hear her running after me. I ditch the elevator again and run down the stairs. To the desk mans disliking I run through the lobby and outside. Only a few fans are here but they didn't notice me. The hotel is a decent size so I decide to just run laps around it.
After my 4th lap it starts to rain. I stop at the front of the hotel to pull on my hood again. When I stop I see someone sitting against the railing. Belle? I walk closer and sure enough it is. Shes soaking wet and shivering. When I walk closer she stands up.
"Bee baby go inside!" I yell over the rain. "Are you coming?" She asks. I shake my head no and she sits down again. "Your going to get sick!" I yell. "Yah well so are you!" She yells back. I groan and go back to running.
By my 10th lap I'm drenched and freezing but don't even feel winded. When I stop moving I almost feel sick to my stomach. I stop for a second to see if Belles still outside. I see her and as I'm about to keep running she jumps up. She runs over to me with bloodshot eyes and dripping wet hair.
"Please please stop. I don't know what's going on Luke, but you're scaring me. Just come inside and calm down. I can't sit out here any longer." Belle begs. She grabs my collar and pulls our foreheads together. I stop moving completely so I can see if this will work. She's shaking and crying so I want to go inside for her. After a few seconds go by I don't feel antsy anymore. I sigh in relief and kiss Belle's forehead. She looks up and smiles softly.
"Lets go inside." I say grabbing her hand. We run into the lobby dripping wet. In the elevator Belle is holding onto me like she's scared I could run at any moment. I would be too. At the room I open the door and try to quietly walk in because everyone is probably asleep. When I find the lights on and everyone on the couch I'm surprised.
"Oh my god Luke!" Mum yells jumping up. Sawyer gets up and goes to Belle. "Don't ever do that again you hear me? You nearly gave all of us a heart attack! What even happened?" She asked inspecting my face and arms for injury.
"I'm sorry I ran off mum. I just couldn't sit still. Every time I stopped moving I felt sick. Something was wrong. I went on a run to try and calm down. It didn't work really good but I'm fine now." I promise her. She sighs and kisses my cheek before turning around.
"Goodnight boys and girls." She says before walking off to her room. As soon as she leaves Ashton gets up and comes over to me. He punches me in the stomach. It wasn't that hard but it hurt.
"The hell?!" I yell grabbing my stomach. "You idiot! You can't just run out of here without telling someone! Your mum almost had a breakdown!" He yells. "I'm sorry! It just happened." I say. "Look I'm sorry too. We were just worried. Sorry I messed with you in the car, something was obviously actually wrong." He says patting my shoulder before taking Sawyer and going to their room. Everyone else says their good nights before leaving. I watch Belle walk to our room in a skin tight wet shirt, soaked short short jeans, and dripping hair. Her tan legs are all shiny from the water and her dark hair looks even darker. She turns around and stares at me. I crumble to my knees and hold my head.
"Luke are you alright?" She asks bending down next to me. I shake my head no. "Whats the matter?" She asks.
"I don't know. Something. That didn't happen for no reason, Bee. What's wrong with me?" I ask. She sighs and takes my hands. She pulls me to my feet and walks us to our room. We sit on the floor and she plays with our hands.
"Nothing's wrong with you. You're different from everyone else and that's what makes you Luke. You get upset, you can't sit still, you always feel the need to be helping other people. You're Luke Hemmings. That should be a good thing." She says. I sit there and smile at her. For a few seconds she doesn't look up. When she does and I'm already looking at her she blushes.
"You're not aloud to hide it." I say holding her face. She blushes even more and shakes her head so hair falls over her face. "Bee!" I scold flipping her hair back. I watch as the red starts to disappear back to tan.
"You're mean." She pouts. "Am not." I argue. "Are to!" she fired back.
"Are not!"
"Are to!"
"Are not!"
"Okay wait are we really doing this?" Belle asks giggling. I laugh and lay forwards so my forehead is on hers.
"Thank you." I whisper. "For what?" She whispers back. "For knowing the Luke Hemmings." I whisper before standing up. She grins and stands up with me.
"Nobody I'd rather know." She says before walking over to the bathroom. I smile and follow her. She tosses me a towel and grabs one for herself.
After we had both dried off and changed our clothes I scooped her up and ran to the bed. Belle was trying not to laugh loudly because everyone was already asleep. I jumped on the bed and laid on top of her.
"Get off me pony boy." She grunts trying to push me off. I chuckle and roll to the side. She smiles and pushes me so that I'm on my back. Slowly she crawls over so that her head is laying on my chest. I wrap an arm around her back as she wraps one over my stomach.
"Goodnight angel."
"Goodnight Luke Hemmings."

QOTD: To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Mark Twain