Dance on Main Street

Day 25

🐧

"Stop!" Belle begs falling onto her knees. Tyler steps over to her and I try to reach at him. He turns and kicks me in the stomach. I grunt and my head falls. I try to stand up from my knees while Tyler says stuff to her. My hands are tied to together and hung above my head.

"Leave her alone." I say quietly. Tyler aims the gun at me but Belle grabs his hand and stops him.

"Alright do whatever you want to me just stop!" She cries. He smirks and puts the gun to the side of her head. The entire time he's looking directly at me. I scream her name but they don't move until he pulls the trigger.

I shoot up in the bed and quickly check on Belle. Shes fine. This is the second time I've had this dream. Last time I couldn't talk though. Every time Belle dies though. Every time that's the worst part. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

"Same dream?" Belle asks softly from next to me. I snap my head towards her scared for a second. I nod and she sighs sitting up. I never told her the dream but she knows its really scaring me. Yesterday we had a recording session and I was anxious again. At the room I changed and told everyone where I was going and that I was running. After half an hour Belle came outside and sat on the steps waiting for me. After six more laps I stopped and we went inside. Something's wrong and I know it. Not just with me but with Belle too. She hasn't been laughing or talking as much lately.

"Come on." Belle whispers standing up. I stand up and follow her. In the kitchen she sits me down on a stool and walks to the fridge. The microwave oven says its 6:38 in the morning. Belle rummages through the fridge looking for something.

"Bee, what are you looking for?" I ask quietly. She pulls out a tub of Cool Whip and waves it around. She grabs two spoons and slides into a chair next to me. I take a spoon and watch her as she opens the lid and scoops it out.

"Don't judge me, its good. Now eat it." She says licking it off the spoon. I smile and shake my head.

We eat the entire tub and are sitting on the couch in silence. Usually it's a comfortable silence but right now it's awkward almost. Belle takes a deep breath and faces me.

"Have you ever wanted to die?" She asks. My eyes widen and I pull away a little.

"Why, do you," I start. "No uh, just wondering." She says. "Well I mean yes. Yah I have." I say honestly. She frowns and tears brim in her eyes.

"Why?" She asks. I sigh and snuggle back into her.

"Because life's not perfect. I'm not perfect. Believe it or not I wasn't the cool kid or the nerd or the band kid. I was the school freak. My brothers hated me, every kid at school hated me, for a while my dad hated me. I didn't fit in and didn't know what I was doing. So I did self harm but realized it wasn't worth it. Its never worth it. The people that did love me got hurt, I got hurt, and it was for nothing. Now look at where I am! I have five of the best friends ever and am touring the world doing what I love." I tell her. "Why?" I ask. She starts to cry and sits up in front of me. I shake my head and reach for her but she pulls away. "Belle?" I shakily ask. Her hands reach for the sleeves on her sweatshirt. I grab her hands and stop her. Belle pulls her hands away and pulls up her sleeve. Five deep cuts are etched on her wrist.

"I am so sorry." She chokes out. I feel the tears falling down my face. I pull her back to my chest and clutch onto her.

"Don't be sorry baby." I sniffle. Her hands shakily hold onto the collar of my shirt. We lay back on the couch and I hold her as close as I can.

"Hey guys! Wait what's wrong?" Mum asks. I bury my face into Belles hair. "Come on, I can help!" She objects.

"No you can't mum." I say. "Bu-" she starts. "Stop!" I snap. Belle rubs my side and I sigh. "Sorry mum." I mutter.