Hiraeth - [Alucard/Adrian Tepes x Lycan!Reader]

[6] Secret

You, again, sat at the back of the covered wagon with Alucard. It had been a long night, and though you had a hard time remembering what happened exactly, you did remember short moments. Particularly the one with you charging at Alucard. To put it simply, you were ashamed. You were speechless. None of them told you what happened, perhaps to spare your feelings, too bad you remembered it yourself. You had a feeling that no one would bring it up, either.

"Are you alright? You have barely spoken since you got back to the camp this morning." Alucard seemed worried for you. You furrowed your eyebrows and folded your arms over your chest.

"I'll be okay. Sometimes I get into a small depressive state for a few days after a full moon." Your expression softened as you gave a reassuring smile.

He only gave a small frown before giving a short answer. "Okay." You looked back at the woods.

"Sorry. I just don't like talking about feelings and all that dumb shit." You explained.

He laughed, "Oh don't worry, Dear, neither do I."

"I'm glad we are in agreement then." You two sat in silence once again, though it wasn't awkward this time. You wanted to strike up a conversation again, all in the same you did not know what to say. You pursed your lips when a question came to your head, would it be too personal to ask? You assumed there was one way to find out. "Your mother was human then? What was she like? It's not like just any normal person to go up to a vampire, much less Dracula, and come away married to him." He seemed to be taken off guard with the question, with a tinge of a sadness on his face.

"Yes, she was human. It's a funny story actually, she came up demanding she teach him medicine. Curious, I find myself talking about her again, I did so last night as well. Anyway, yes she wasn't the normal person, a scientist at heart, and a warm soul." You didn't have any distinct expression on your face, and you didn't know what to say.

"She sounds wonderful, I have a feeling I would have really liked her. And that we would have gotten along well." You said giving a awkward smile, in hopes to cheer him up.

It seemed to have worked, as he gave a genuine smile towards you. "I think that, too."

You debated wether to share as well, and decided it was time to finally talk about what happened all those years ago.

Your expression turned grim. "My father was a good man." Alucard became attentive to your words. "A very good one actually. Sure, he could be mean and cold at times, where I partially get it from, but he loved me. And I him. That's why I went to the forest that night. We had been getting hungry, and he had been working so-" You got choked up by your words for a second. "So hard. I wanted to please him, to cheer him up and let him rest for at least a few days. That wasn't the case, though." Alucard placed his arm over your shoulders, rubbing circles between your shoulder blades in a comforting manner. "That is where it all happened, I was a coward, I didn't even have enough courage to try and run from it, not like I would have succeeded anyway." You pulled your deep emerald green cloak up and over your right shoulder, and lowered the top part of your sleeve. That revealed a nasty scar where the werewolf had bitten you, it was on both sides and continued farther than to where you pulled your sleeve down to. You also had some scratches around your waist, which weren't visible to him. "I got this 'Gift' from it. A souvenir." You spat venom at the mention of the bite scar, then pulled up your sleeve, and down your cloak. "When I got home with it, my father immediately went to work to help me. He didn't even know what was in store for him. I don't remember what happened after I changed. I just know what I saw after was because of me. That the blood was on my hands." By now you were sobbing. "My father was dead, along with my whole village. All I had left of him was this." You pulled up your sun necklace. You were done talking now. You tried to calm yourself and stop your crying, but the tears kept coming. Your breathing was coming out in gasps and hiccups.

That's when you felt Alucard move his arm and put both his hands on either sides of your face, turning you to look at him. You felt slight Deja Vu. "There will be enough of that." He stated, and used his thumbs to wipe your tears. You nodded in agreement to him and eventually you stopped crying. You were sure the only reason you managed to stop crying was due to him. Looking into his honey golden eyes, was like looking into the depths of the universe. You pulled your right hand up and over Alucard's hand, which was still in your cheek and leaned into it.

"Sorry, I am a complete hypocrite. I just said I don't talk about feelings and dumb stuff. Life is to short to care about anything." You managed to joke.

He let out an insincere chuckle and took his hands back, meaning you had to release his, but stopped to twirl a lock of your (H/t) (H/c) hair before completely taking his hand back. "You're completely fine. Everyone needs to from time to time."

You cast him a glance, you wouldn't pressure him, some people just need time, but.....he sure did also need to.

"There."

You groaned and rubbed your head as you heard Trevor speak, you must have fallen asleep. It was dark now, and last you remembered it was midday. You blushed when you realized you had been sleeping on Alucard, clearing your throat you regained a more dignified composure and scooted a few inches away from him. Alucard didn't seem to mind you had been sleeping on him though, you were quite warm. "That's my tree." Trevor continues. I used to play in that tree. We're nearly at the house."

"It's hard to imagine you playing." Sypha chimed in.

"Yeah." Trevor snorted. "I suppose so. But it was everything, that tree. It was my house and my boat and my fort. Anything I wanted it to be." Trevor sighed. "Goodnight, tree." You frowned, it sounded almost sad hearing him say goodnight to the tree, although it seemed more as a goodbye.

Once you three arrived at your destination all you could do was stare. It looks like it may have once been a huge beautiful building, though all you could see now was the remnants of one. There was torn and burnt wood everywhere, along with broken down stone. It was a wreck. All four of you hopped off the caravan and started walking to the estate, however you stopped and waited for the three of them to be out of earshot.

Once they were, you walked to the two hard working horses whom had pulled all four of you this far. You put your hands up and started stroking the muzzles of both horses, and worked your way up their face and neck. One had a beautiful light tan coat, almost golden, with a white stripe down his face and four white socks. The other was the bigger of the two, he had a solid reddish-brown coat, which was stunning. "Good boys." You chirped.

You had always loved horses, ever since the first time you saw them. Unlike most children your age then, you were never afraid of them, all you wanted to do was ride. Sadly, your father could never afford to keep one. Though, that didn't stop you, whenever you saw one pass through you would beg it's owner to pet it, and then maybe ask to ride it, depending on who they were.

The horses in front of you let out soft nickers at you, they were probably hungry. You frowned, you four barely had enough food for yourselves, much less the horses. "Sorry buds." You spoke quietly, hoping your friends wouldn't hear. It was sort of embarrassing in your opinion for people to hear you talk to animals as if they were people. "I can't give anything to you." You kept petting them as the one on the right, the light tan colored one, continued nudging your shoulder for a treat. You gave a conflicting look as you pulled a whole large carrot out of your bag, if the others found out you gave up your food to the work animals they would have a fit. You broke the carrot in to even halves, or as much as you could make it even, and held out your plams flat with carrots to them. They gladly munched in them, though you knew there was no way that it would fill them up, you hoped it would tide them over. They whinnied happily, and you giggled at their small moment of joy.

"This will be our little secret, okay?"