A Book of Dust and Breath

Chapter Twenty Nine

Max pulled into the drive and shut the engine off. The door rattled down, behind him, closing away the outside world. He sighed deeply, letting the day drift away with his exhale. It didn't matter that earlier in the day he'd carried a baby away from her wailing mother, a father away from his sobbing daughter, a husband away from his wife who was near catatonic with grief. What mattered was that he was home now. This place existed as a different world, a world apart, where his wife would remind him that creation contains more than death and the grief that accompanies it.

Despite the wonderful smells perfuming the air in the kitchen, the lights were off.

The house was silent.

Fear pricked at his heart.

"Lily?"

Silence.

He walked toward the stairs, his pace quickening with each passing moment.

"Lily!"

A faint voice. "I'm upstairs."

He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, feeling stupid for being so jumpy, and jogged up the stairs to find his wife naked on the bed, flickering candlelight drawing dancing shadows on her fair skin. An elaborate, candle-lit picnic was laid out on a blanket on the floor between the bed and the fireplace.

"Welcome home, my love."

He stood, drinking in the sight of her long, muscular body. When she held out her arms to him, he went to her and lost himself in giving her pleasure.

Later, curled against his chest, she murmured, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I'll go get the food."

"No." He squeezed his arms more tightly around her.

She giggled. "It would just take me a second."

"Not letting go," he mumbled against her hair.

"We'll starve."

"Don't care."

She wrapped one arm around his waist and held him. "Rough day?"

"No rougher than any other."

"You could quit, you know. They don't own you. Whoever they are."

"I can't quit."

"What's the worse that can happen? Someone else will do whatever it is you do."

"It doesn't really work that way."

"I don't understand."

"But you love me anyway. It's a wonder to me. You're my miracle."

She sighed, letting the conversation drop for the moment. It was true, she did love him, more with each passing moment. "Would you eat with me if I told you I was hungry?"

"Stay here," he said, sliding out from under the tangled sheet.

He snagged a plate of crackers, cheese and meat, and a bowl of grapes and set them on her bedside table.

"Grab the present, too," she said from behind him. He hadn't noticed it until she said something. A little flat, rectangular box.

"Tell me I didn't miss some important holiday."

She laughed. "Nope. I just have a surprise for you."

He brought it back to the bed sat next to her with his back against the headboard as hers was. The present sat on the bedside table.

"Well, open it!" she ordered.

"You're bossy."

"No one ever says that to men. I'm not bossy. I'm a strong leader."

He took the time to kiss her thoroughly before turning his attention to the little package. "I don't think I've ever unwrapped a gift."

"What are you talking about?"

"Wrapped packages like this, they're a little foreign to me."

"That's just sad," she said, not really teasing. "You're far overdue."

He pulled the wrapping away and dropped it on the floor next to the bed, removed the lid, and pulled out a dark blue t-shirt with white writing on it. "World's best dad," he read. "I don't understand. Is this," he froze, a storm of emotion wrapping around his heart, forcing it into a strange and previously unknown rhythm. Slowly, he let his eyes move away from the task at hand to his wife's face.

Bright blooms of color brightened her white cheeks. "Congratulations, Daddy. We're having a baby."

He swallowed once, twice, three times against the tears that burned before giving in and letting them spill from his eyes "You're..."

"Yeah," she said, looking away and pulling the blanket higher over her body.

"When?"

"In May. I think. Something like that."

"A baby?"

Her eyes darted anxiously between his. "Are you happy?"

He pulled her into his arms. "I am stunned," he answered. "You've given me a miracle."

He lay in bed, holding his wife and wondering if she could hear the pounding of his heart. In his mind, the face of the wailing mother overlay all the other images and he knew fear he had never imagined.

There was so very much to lose now.