The Feeling of Love

I Love You

I know Sonakshi, what I had done is wrong for you but I was a spineless man because my situation was different and I don't want to force me anything to you other than this baby.

I don't know what can I do for you now, I hope, I have to get some path to make you happy, I am sorry, I can't able to see your teary eyes, I don't know what to do next, he confused.

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He was thinking in the various paths to find the solution for his messed life. Either I should live my life with her or I should divorce her and to find marry another person in her life. No, I won't find a groom for her; maybe she found someone later due to a bitter life of mine with her.

It is difficult for me to choose any one of these paths. I ain't ready to live with her and it is not easy to divorce her, we need a strong reason for our divorce because our family also gets affected when we divorced, both options are not easy for me.

Why my mind is always thinking about the best path as surrogacy to have a child for us and live with her happily. Wait it really seems selfish for me, I didn't think about her wish till now. The option left for me either to live with her or to get a divorce from her.

I can't get the child after our divorce because I can't be a single and I have to be married. Shit! All the doors are blocked.

Why can't I live with her and having a child in a natural way, this decision gives happy for her life not only her life but for both the families and even my sister will be very very happy but I won't happy for that decision. At least I could live my life as a saint like the way my sister was living her life.

She hadn't done any wrong, why she should only be punished, I am also born from the same parents, I will live my life as a saint and sacrifice my life for her and I know, no one could know about my sacrifice but I will be happy and I am getting satisfied by me.

I am satisfied, I will be happy but what about my family and Sonakshi. My mom would cry regularly and pray to the stupid god for the happy life of mine and Akshaya di.

For the first time in my life, I felt that I did the biggest mistake and there is no chance for excuses or escapes for my mistake.

If we are divorced then my family gets hurts, her family also gets hurt. I have hope that she could find a new partner for her life because she is extremely gorgeous and beautiful from her heart. I didn't deserve you Sonakshi, you deserved for someone who loves back at you, I am sorry for creating this messed life with you.

He cried the first time for cheating her and being a useless man for her. I don't know what I had feelings for you but I like you to be with me and I want you beside me always maybe it will be friendship or more than that feeling but I am hate being the fact that I am the reason behind this all the faults.

Sonakshi on the other side cried a lot and made her room in a messed way by putting down all the things on the floor. We are over now. We are over.

I have hope that you would be changed but you never gonna change Dev. For you, your ego and swears are more important than me and your family.

I wish, I could die now, but even I had no courage to die.

I know, you are getting satisfied only when you keeping and following your saint life, I won't interfere with your saint life, I had got enough of you.

I don't know what you decided tomorrow, but I had a clear plan for your saint life.

We will be getting divorced. You can marry the handicapped girl and you could live the life without the guilt and you would have a child, your parents getting happy in the end by looking at your child. I know you will be definitely happy with this decision but what I could give to my parents. Maybe they are getting happy by looking at my brother's life. I don't have the courage to face them in that situation.

I live alone my life; I don't want to be a burden for my parents. I had chosen somewhere in India which is a far distance from my parents and I am going to living alone there in my rest half my life, that thought made her heart weak.

She never thinks about being alone or separated from this world.

She lay by her back on the bed and started weeping continuously. My life is alone; I am going to live alone my entire life without any happiness.

We are over. I used to like you after my birthday and you started to change and I hope you forget that surrogacy but you. you never failed to surprise me.

Why did you arrange special events on my birthday, I liked the way you surprised me. But that happiness is only temporary for me.

You dragged my happiest life into the dark one and the dark one to happy one and again the dark one, who you are deciding my life, she cried by remembering the moments which had given by me.

You have come in my life as a husband, I know I didn't love you earlier, but I had feelings for you when our marriage is fixed and you broke all my feelings by your stupid words.

Then you hated me and then you treated me as a good friend.

Why did you kiss me Dev? You know how your kisses drive me mad, I never express this to you, I kept all the feelings inside of me and I never gonna ask this questions in front of you. Because I know you had silly answers for that question, you just kissed me as a friend, she cried for the bitterness she had in her life.

I don't know, I am in love with you or not but I had some good feelings for you and these feelings are just temporary I am very unlucky guy, this thought made her feel worse, she wishes she wants to open up these things with him but she hadn't enough courage to say those words in front of him.

She slept in that messy state.

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He looked at the time and checked her room. He opened the door, she slept with the dried teary eyes and the sadness on her face made him sad.

He entered carefully into her room because he doesn't want to wake up her with my presence. At least you have peace in your sleep, he thought.

I don't know why I am sitting in front of you and staring at you. I wish, I want to be with you my lifelong but the time and situation won't make us together Sona and I hate the fact that you hate me now and I deserved this for cheating you.

Why you seem to be perfect? Because of your perfectness, your life gets affected and shattered. You are the best person whom I had ever met in my life; I struggle in my own life.

I know, tomorrow you are gonna ask divorce from me and I don't have an answer for your divorce. Yes, I am not fair for ruining your life, I had to be married the handicapped girl or the girl whom ready for my agreement but marrying you is my biggest fault and I had spoiled your life, he murmured silently.

I used to address you as a very cheap girl and I hated you from the core but at last you proved that you are perfect and I am the cheapest person in the world, he cried silently.

"Sonakshi, look at me, I Love You Sonakshi, I Love you. I know I am sorry for being rude with you on these days but the truth is I am in love with you. I won't live without you even for a second.

I am not an idiot person to divorce a girl like you, I want to be with you always, I want our happy family. I am sorry, I never again speak the word surrogacy we have our child in our own way, thanks for coming to my life and changing my decision. I love you; I love your patience which made me completely changed and I realized what the real love and how it feels for me.

I am gone mad at you. I and you make the best pair and we could make the jealous on this whole world. I like a tree which I need a oxygen for my all the time and not like the sun for giving life partially, I want to feel you in every organ.

I bet you, I won't forget you after my death too. You and I are made for each other we are gonna creating the blissful memories of us, Sonakshi shocked by hearing those words from his mouth".

What will happen next? Let's wait and see...

I know, this is a short update, and you will definitely get next update by Wednesday night or Thursday morning. I hope you like it. Don't forget to put your opinions on the comment section. Thanks to the voters and readers.