fireworks // larry stylinson {COMPLETE}

thirty five

Harry's POV

I stood there, taking in the moment. The very second he had said those words, those terrifying fucking words, I love you, I had stopped thinking. It felt like my body had shut off, and all I could do was stand there like an idiot.

He continued smiling and I forced one back. I wanted to say it back, with everything in my heart. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. My arms stayed in place, leaning back against the car. After a minute or two had passed and I hadn't replied, his face fell a bit. This is exactly what I didn't want to do.

He stepped back, and opened the door again for me, giving a small smile. I gave one back, sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He closed the door for me, and walked over to the driver's side. When he started the car, it was still silent, for five minutes now. He started driving down the dark, empty road. The radio was off and the tension in the car was growing.

"Louis," I started, but he cut me off.

"It's okay." He said, probably knowing what was going on in my mind.

"No, it's not. I'm sorry, Lou."

"Don't be, I'm just moving way too fast. I get it. I'm sorry."

I felt achingly bad. He wasn't moving too fast - I loved him too. I just didn't want to dig myself into a deep hole that I wouldn't be able to get out of.

"Harry," he started, "These last few months have been amazing with you. I realized just yesterday that I loved you and I couldn't wait to tell you. If you don't feel the same just yet, then that's okay."

He reached a hand to mine, keeping one on the wheel. I smiled a bit at his fingers slipping in between mine. "Lou," I said as he stopped at a red light. I turned my whole body to him and squeezed his hand, "Thank you."

He smiled to me, with that wide grin of his. "Of course. I just want to make you comfortable."

"I do." I didn't. I was terrified of this. We had been dating for nearly three months, why couldn't I just man up and tell him how I felt? Everytime I thought about it I got shaky, anxious. My head started to pound, my mouth went dry, I just felt as though I was going to pass out.

Louis pulled into his familiar drive way. "Quiet night in?"

"Please." I responded.

***

"So, popcorn and wine or chips and beer?" Louis asked from the kitchen. I sat quietly on his couch, and waited for him to come back in.

I stared down at my fidgeting hands as I tried to stop them, "popcorn and wine, of course."

He sighed. "Can I have a beer?" He smiled at me when I turned my head back to him.

"Yes, boobear." I smiled at him.

He sat down next to me, I heard the microwave turn as he gave me my glass of white wine. I sat the glass down on the table and laid my head on his shoulder as he scrolled through movies on the television.

My thoughts continued to run. What if he was angry with me? What if I never got over this anxiety thing? I couldn't tell him, I didn't want him to pity me. I looked up to him. He noticed and sat the remote down. He turned his body to me, "What's wrong love?"

I hesitated. I love you. I love you so much I can't stand it. I love you so much I don't know how to tell you. "Nothing's wrong. I just love being with you."

He gave a small smile and pulled his legs up onto the couch, taking my hands in his. "Harry, you are so wonderful."

I started to panic, "Are you breaking up with me?" I blurted out, nothing else running through my mind.

"No, love. Not at all. I couldn't. You just seem a bit off."

I took a deep breath. I thought about telling him, but I couldn't. I stood up, and he turned his body off the couch once again. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"I," I turned to him and put one leg on either side of his waist, hovering over him. "Feel so bad about what happened tonight." I lowered myself so that our bodies were touching. He looked up to me, with wide eyes. "And I want to make it up to you."

I felt his hands grip my waist and pull me down closer. He leaned in to kiss me. As soon as I felt his plump lips touch mine, I felt sparks. Like fireworks. I felt like I loved him. And I just couldn't have that.