fantôme / fátom / noun
in english : ghost
meaning : an apparition of a dead person which is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image.
•유령•
°°you came into my life when it was masked by this veil of grey, fog...
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moving on shall we *****************************
papa /ˈdæd / noun. in english : dad. meaning : one's father.
(obvious much)
The rain's sporadic pattern blended in smoothly with her clattering footsteps and hammering heartbeats. Her black-cladded figure resembled someone you wouldn't want to get close to. Hunched back, head tilted downwards and eyes constantly fixed onto her shoes as if someone was about to trip her any second. Minseo slowly manoeuvred her way through the crowd to her father's casket that was an hour away from being buried, being very careful not to knock down anyone seeing as the parlour was so crowded.
As she got to her fathers casket, and caught a glimpse of his resting face through the transluscent glass, her heart stopped beating for a second and she had to hold in her breath. Tears threatened to pour, welling up in her eyes until her eyelids couldn't bear the weight, and they just trickled down her puffy red cheeks, not like a waterfall, but more of a slow stream during winter. Her mittened hands weren't enough to shield her away from the vindictive cold weather, or maybe it was the ice in her heart that drew away so much warmth from her body. Leaving her shivering and crying at the same time.
******
"Papa, do you love me more or mama more?"
"You of course!"
"Don't lie papa!"
"I'm not! who could resist those fat cheeks!"
"Hahahaah stop pinching!"
******
Her heart ached for more time with her precious father, and she needed to feel that sense of security again in her papa's embrace. How his tight squeeze could choke her yet make her feel so so loved at the same time. How he would carry her up and down just to make her laugh even though his muscles were worn out from all the construction work he's been doing throughout the day.
I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Or to say I love you.
Yes, she regretted very much not saying those 3 simple words enough. She resented herself for not calling home every weekend to ask if her parents were doing fine. Life drops a bomb on us at very unexpected moments. In this case, they dropped a fat piece of concrete on minseo's dad, crushing his entire body for 3 whole hours. What's worse than knowing your dad is dead?
Knowing your dad had been suffering for 3 hours and died thinking there would be no one to rescue him.
In the past, Minseo had asked repeatedly for her dad to stop working because he was too old for it already. Plus, she's old enough to earn money for their family. But he was adamant on working and refused to accept his daughter's money. He wanted her to live life to the fullest, he and his wife would just be another burden to her shoulders.
Minseo couldn't have hated herself more for not being persistent enough.
It's all my fault.
******
After seeing her dad's body being lowered 7 feet under in a casket, Minseo ran quietly to the nearest woods making sure no one saw her leaving. She didn't want to cause a scene and she needed some alone time to clear her thoughts.
She ran and ran to a cliff, when she thought no one would hear or see her. At this point, she had already given up on bottling up her emotions and swallowing down her pain. She allowed herself to cry, not control her tears anymore. A river of tears pooled at her feet, or was it the rain? Yes it was raining heavily, but at this point she couldn't care less about being drenched and sick.
She allowed herself to cry out loud, shout into the void and release all that built up heartache. She screamed, and she screamed into the chasm thinking no one would hear her. She was alone once again. it had been lonely without seokjin, but today she felt lonelier than ever. A part of her heart had just been taken away, and now she was an incomplete puzzle missing a very vital piece.
After staying in the rain for a while with strands of hair sticking onto her forehead and eyes empty with despair, she heard soft footsteps behind her. Her heart clammered.
What if someone actually did hear me? god that would be embarassing.
The footsteps stopped, and she turned her head to see who they belonged to.
Him.
"Minseo, what are you doing out here in the rain?"
Author's Note I wanna shower all my readers with love like how we shower bts with money. ;) and love, yes. 💕💕💕💕
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i tried looking for love in my gallery but this was the closest thing i could find. hope its ok.
