fantôme ; ksj

28.fatigué

fatigué / fatiɡe / adjective.
in english : tired.
meaning : in need of sleep or rest; weary.

"Seokjin, my eyelids are getting heavy," Minseo said as there gazed across the horizon. The sun had already disappeared and the full moon was shining boldly, Reflected itself upon the serene ocean, providing his moonchildren with light in the somber cold night.

Minseo cushioned her head upon Seokjin's broad shoulder, while he wrapped his long arm around her waist. His grip was strong, as if he was protecting her from falling and succumbing to her ultimate death, although he knew that wouldn't happen.

"That's weird. Ghosts usually don't get tired."

"But I feel exhausted."

"You wanna go back to the hospital ward and-"

"Noooooo, let's stay here for another while please," she whined while tightening her clutch on his waist and further burying her face in his warm chest. Their earlier kiss still lingered on her lips, as if it tainted them permanently. 

"Ok," he chuckled, totally not complaining.
Although it was perplexing to him that she would feel tired. Maybe she isn't dead? maybe she won't die? Seokjin didn't know if that thought haunted him more or gave him a glimmer of hope. If Minseo died, it would mean they'd get to stay together forever together. He wouldn't be trapped in this realm all alone wandering like a lost memory. He'd be happy, have company.

But it also meant snatching away Minseo's life. She wouldn't have a chance to experience a lot of things. She wouldn't have a family. She'd be in despair for leaving her mother alone to suffer in this sick world. She'd be abandoning everyone she knew. Something Seokjin would dread and would never forgive himself for.

Just as he was in his little world with dispiriting thoughts whirring around like a mantra, or an annoying mosquito in his ear he felt Minseo's faint snores reverberating through his chest, the vibrations drawing goosebumps up his arms and squeezing his heart. How cute. 

She looked so peaceful that he didn't want to wake her up. Two strands of hair cascaded slowly down her nose after being nudged by the night wind. It tickled her tiny nose and she twitched it just a bit, while still dozed off. Seokjin detected her slight annoyance and very tenderly, with his crooked finger, swept her hair and tucked it behind her ear, and gave her head a few gentle pats. 

And that was when it hit him. If he doesn't live in the moment and appreciate whatever time they had left, she'll be gone in no time and he'll just be a memory to her. He cared about her so much. His heart ached at the thought of letting her go. And he'd hate himself for clutching on to the hopes of being together with a mortal being. But maybe right now, he should just embrace the moment, stop worrying like a hypochondriac mother, live with Minseo and leave no regrets behind. I guess we'll just have to live in the moment before letting go.

Seokjin realised how exhausted she was, dark rings encircling her beautiful eyes, contrasting them. Thus, as slowly and as gently as he could, he hoisted her body into his arms, gripping tightly at her hip to make sure she doesn't fall off. And he teleported.

******

The monitor's beeping echoed in a distance, and the familiar scent of medicine wafted through the halls. Seokjin carried minseo back to her hospital ward, laid her down gently on top of her soft bed where her real body also was and gingerly tucked her in, making sure she was warm. He kissed her on the forehead as if to say goodnight, and sat on the chair across the room.

The monitor's constant beeping made him very antsy, but it slowly set into him, he eventually got used to it. Being a ghost has always been boring especially at night. Everyone being asleep, nothing ever happens. Should he go visit Yoongi now? Namjoon? Or maybe even Jimin?

He would continue to sit there until she wakes up. Waiting for the right moment to give her a tender morning kiss. Waiting to tell her how beautiful she looked waking up. Waiting to bring her to one of his favourite spots in Gwacheon. Waiting.

He continued to wait for her to wake up.

But she never did.

Author's Note

Sorry, this is one of those filler chapters. The next chapter will be an important one. I also feel like this book is coming to and end and i'd like to express my gratitude to all my readers.

Also, I'm thinking of writing another fanfiction for namjoon. :) I know I know I haven't even finished this book yet and I'm shifting focus to something else I'm that bitch haha. Anyway, I'll try my best to update. Till next time!