Cry Pretty || Mike Chang

Chapter Ten

Time and recovery are not mutual in their effect. As much time could pass after trauma and the pain could still be unbearable. Jordyn had learnt that more than she ever expected she could. It had been two years, two years to the day, since she had lost her mother, but the pain she felt still tore through her like a missing limb.

Wrapping her mother's old cardigan further around her, she began to wonder if staying home from school had been the best thing to do. Isolating herself had been her plan for years, hiding her pain behind book pages and words that would never change to ask her questions she could never answer. However, that had also been her downfall.

Hiding from the people who cared had stunted every kind of recovery she could think of. Perhaps her mother's absence was still so fresh in her heart because she had never really spoken to anyone about what losing her had meant. There had been moments that had made it easier, like when she had opened up to Will. Yet, she knew that the distance she had travelled was less than half the journey to recovery.

Taking in a deep breath, Jordyn turned her phone back on. She had turned it off to avoid the calls she would inevitably get from LA. Scrolling through her contacts, she knew that it wasn't them that she wanted to talk to. Deep in her heart, she knew that while they would be the most worried, they weren't who she wanted to know the darkest parts of her soul.

Within seconds, she had text Kurt, asking him to meet her at the lima bean after school. He had tried to ask questions, but she had just replied with 'please'. It was in that moment that he agreed, and she realised that the friends she had made were for life.

***

Kurt didn't know what to expect when he received the message from Jordyn. He may not have been able to hear her, but he could feel the tears in her texts. It also wasn't like her to miss a day of school without telling him first. Of course, he had only known her for a couple of months, but, even when she had been off for an afternoon, she had let him know.

As soon as his eyes fixed on her walking into the Lima Bean, he knew that his suspicions had been right. He didn't know how, but the girl had managed to walk into McKinley high everyday with a colour coordinated outfit that made him want fall at her feet quoting vouge. However, from what Kurt could see, Jordyn was walking towards him in her pyjamas.

Even from where he was sat, waving the girl over, he could see that her eyes were bloodshot, as though she had recently been crying. Despite his knowledge that she had missed their first lit lesson due to a panic attack, he didn't picture Jordyn crying so much that her eyes had become red. Though, from the sight of her, he was pretty sure he was wrong.

It wouldn't shock him if there was some alternate part of her that she hadn't told him about. Every time he tried to ask about LA, she would deflect and change the subject. She hadn't been ready to introduce him to that part of her life, and he didn't want to push her.

As she took a seat, Kurt let out a sigh, "You look like crap."

"Thanks," Jordyn chuckled slightly. "It's been the year from hell, and today has been the worst."

Kurt remained silent, knowing from the look in her eyes that she was ready to share. There was a desperation on her face that he had seen before. In the mirror, when he has wanted someone else to understand and know the pain he had felt. He knew how important it was that he listened.

"Um, two years ago today, my mother died." Jordyn mumbled, looking at her hands as she picked at her nails. "I guess, I don't deal with it as well as I should. Probably because there's a part of me that blames myself for her death."

Taking in a deep breath, Kurt asked, "How did she die?"

"She fell," Jordyn answered quickly and instinctively. She wanted to share, desperately, but she had grown used to lying. "She was pushed. Then I lived in the house, with the man who pushed her, for a year before I finally spoke out."

"Jordyn," Kurt spoke, reaching across the table for her hand as he watched tears falling down her cheeks. However, she jerked her hand away before he could comfort her.

"I shouldn't have come here." She declared, standing up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you that. It's not fair on you."

Calling out, Kurt wanted Jordyn to walk back, "Jordyn, it's okay."

"How is it?" Jordyn asked. "You have your own shit to deal with, you don't need mine."

"I've been where you are." Kurt declared, pointing to the seat. "My mom died when I was ten. Two years was the worst because it made it so much more real that she was gone. For a year, I could convince myself that it wasn't real. For you, it's even worse because you were stuck for a year."

Jordyn wiped her eyes violently, sniffling as she nodded slightly.

"I will be here for you as long as you want me too." Kurt declared. "As a shoulder to cry on, or just an ear to listen."

"Thank you," Jordyn whispered.