Spiritual Deficiency

Chapter 9

Amarisse

I looked at the paper crumpled against my chest. I shook my head, feeling more angry than I could ever remember feeling. My eyes filled with tears but I refused to let them fall.

"You know, if you'd told me who you were, I would have understood. Just because the council doesn't embrace the Spirit Fae, doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't." I breathed out. "I don't hate your kind, I don't understand why you felt the need to hide. I embraced you when I thought you were human, why wouldn't I have done it knowing you were Fae?"

"I was born being told that a Fae believing I was human was safer than knowing who I really was and, frankly, I was afraid of how you'd react," he argued. "I mean, hell, the first thing you did when you saw was cry and look at me like I was some monster."

I forced a laugh. "I only reacted that way because you lied to me, Drake. I was in shock and I was so hurt by the fact that you knew who I was and yet I knew nothing about you! It had nothing to do with your gifts. I am not intimidated by them like the council is. I don't even know what you can do!" I shouted, knowing I shouldn't but not being able to control it.

"Don't even begin to pretend I matter to you. Whether I lie to you or not, whether you know anything about me or not. Tell me, how long did it take you after you found out before you were in Heath's arms?" Drake spat. "Correction: how long until you were kissing him? Be honest."

"I've been engaged to Heath since we were children. I've never been under the impression that I would have the chance to feel anything towards anyone else, and then I met you. I got carried away with my feelings for you, which were real, if you were wondering. You have no right to question my feelings because I was always honest with you. I never left a space for them to be questioned, I was obvious about how I felt about you. Heath was there for me when I was in more pain than I had ever been in, pain that you caused Drake." I cried, I kept my tears in for as long as I could when I felt a couple spill over onto my cheeks.

He shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. "There's nothing I can say to you that will matter, Amarisse. I had my reasons for hiding who I was and if you can't even begin to try to understand that, then this was never going anywhere to begin with. I hope you and Heath are happy together, you deserve each other." He spun on his heel, but paused just to say, "And throw that song away, will you? I don't have the heart to do it myself."

"Yes. Just walk away, because that's what you're best at, right? This is what you always do, is walk away. I could try to understand, I would have done anything for you. You never gave me the chance, and it's a shame because I saw a future with you," I paused, and he turned back around. "I would have fought for you, for us. Pleaded with my father and the council, but it seems that you made up your mind when you decided to lie to me. I hope I'm happy with Heath too, since I was left out of the decision, first by my father and now by you." I choked out my words as best I could.

He shook his head, not responding. I took a deep breath, trying to revel in the fact that I wouldn't have to see him if I stopped coming out here. That doesn't mean that I could stop myself from being pulled here. I honestly don't know why I came out here in the first place. I needed some fresh air after being in lessons all morning, and somehow found myself here.

I didn't know if I expected him to react to seeing me with Heath, I barely knew how to react to it. It was a nice distraction, I cared for Heath. He was amazing, sweet, tentative. He was trying so hard to be a good. . .um, boyfriend? I really didn't know at this point. What I did know was that I craved Drake. It was this pull in the pit of my stomach that I had when I wasn't around him. A longing that I didn't understand, and I fought it with every fiber of my being.