Catching My Queen

||MEND YOUR HEART||

           ZARA pov

After being so hopeless for such a long time, it was hard for me to invariably come to the terms that there still is hope somewhere.

What is the hope anyway? A flicker of leading light? An instinctive feeling? That is what everyone naturally thinks, but this is not what hope is. No one can properly understand what hope is unless they have efficiently been through a distinct phase where you have felt hopeless.

Hope is the earnest desire of God. Hope is like water being poured on burning flesh calming away the unbearable pain. It's like fresh air in a prison of the human body where one's dear soul is captured and tortured.

This is a type of hope which Rosemary has gently placed within me and maybe this is the hope that has to lighten flicker of hope in Ryan's heart. I cannot crush the only hope that Rosemary has placed in me. A human brain is weird, one moment it hates but the next moment is it dying for the same person. One moment I was feeling angry and lost and now I was feeling like it is my duty to protect him, safe him.

I blamed him for everything that has happened in my life. I was blaming him for the consequences whose decisions were made by me, and I didn't even realise it until today. I judged him, his loss and then I accused him of not being there for me when I had done the same. I was not there for him either.

Standing next to him and blaming him for everything was easier than realising how wrong I was. When rosemary said all those stuff to me, promptly telling me how painful our actions were made my sore heart ached terribly. I felt my whole body burning the moment I saw disappointment and hurt flashed in her eyes. At that moment, I knew I had to make everything better.

"We have a quiz coming up." Sara slumped beside me on the ground. My eyes furrowed in confusion. Even though Sara is very intelligent but she stresses about everything weather if its a surprise quiz or an actual exam.

"It was supposed to be a surprise quiz." She answered worriedly and took out her biology book from her bag. She flutters the pages of books, hastily skimming them. "It can't be that bad Sara," I said, and she rubbed the nape of her neck. She sighed and looked at me strangely.

"Says the girl who always gets A in her biology." She fiercely instantly retorted making a wicked smile curved on my rosy lips. This was true, I didn't need to study for good marks. Biology came naturally to me just like any other subject other than maths. I absolutely hate maths. Before I could retort a sarcastic remark I heard shouting and yelling behind me. I didn't have to turn around to guess who was coming towards us and in the very next moment, I could see Nick, Chase and Aliyah sat in front of us.

"What's up lovely ladies, why so distressed?" Nick grinned wryly at us. I looked at Sara who was cursing under her breath. Why was she behaving so weirdly?

"Surprise quiz for biology." I shrugged.

"Shit! Do we have to study for that shit?" He asked Chase who in return struck his head with force. "Ouch! Chase you dick, stop manhandling me." He exclaimed.

"Then stop asking dumb questions," Chase rolled his eyes. I scanned the area to look for Ryan but I couldn't find him anywhere. Normally, he hangout with the crew but if I wasn't wrong then he was avoiding me or maybe he was with Cassandra. The thought if Cassandra and Ryan together burned my heart and I felt nauseous.

I need to distract myself from Ryan. I thought bitterly. I scanned my friends and saw Nick and Chase still bickering about studying for the quiz. Sara was reading her biology book and aliyah was biting her nails.