Catching My Queen

||GRAVEYARD||

Happy reading my beautiful readers!!!

ZARA POV

The journey from my house to the familiar graveyard was entirely dreadful. I was trailing my feet towards the familiar pathway. Last night I hade woke up shrieking in agony and weeping. I had clawed frantically my exposed skin with my bare hands trying to speak, but burning flames were implanted in my sore throat. I had cried for my parents to come back, but no avail. No one came back, not even Scarlett.

It was already six in the morning, and that is why I chose this time to visite Scarlett. Today was fourth year anniversary and the same day she got engaged with Nicholas. Nicholas was a popular boy from our rival school. They both met at a party and instantly clicked. Later on, they came to know that their family were also somewhat known to each other. They dated for a year, and Nicholas proposed to her soon on her birthday. Both of the families decided it would be better to tie them down so they got engaged.

Rosemary used to visit Scarlett around ten while I didn't know about Ryan because I have never seen him. My shallow steps came to halt when the black gate came into view. My heart ached terribly in pain. To be completely fair, I didn't want anyone to come with me or meet me there because I wanted to mourn my best friend alone. This will be the first time I would be visiting her after such a long time. I wanted space.

My trail of thoughts went towards Ryan and how he will be coping today. It wasn't easy, but I was sure he was hurting somewhere. The mere thought of him in pain made my insides clench with unknown feeling. I was feeling something towards him, and the feeling was foreign to me. It was more intense, stronger. It made me terrified to the core because I simply cannot afford any close relations.

Emptiness

That was all I was suffering while staring right in front of me. How can something like a graveyard which is so full but can feel so empty? The feel of anguish and despair running through my veins. My ears were bleeding listening to the screams of that day when we came burying Scarlett's cold body.

As the bodies of the beloved return their matter to the earth, their souls, ageless since birth, return to our maker. I let my feet tread lightly over the soils that supported my best friends grave. My eyes resting on her name, my heart hearing the sound of his voice as if she were right there with me. I felt her laughter ringing in my ears, Perhaps, it was just some memories.

I felt like someone had thrust a sharp knife in my stomach and kept twisting it. My whole body was crumbling in agony, and it didn't help that my heart was hammering in my chest. I wanted to cry, scream, and sob.

My unsteady hands met with the burning sand, taking in the ultimate hope that it might be a dream. But as soon as my fingers threaded over the sand, the reality came crashing down, knocking the air out of my body. She was gone.

I choked a sob while gazing intently at the name right in front of me. It was my best friend who was buried deep down in there. She was innocent and didn't deserve to die. I wished I was the one to die in her place.

The guilt clawed deep in my heart. No one understands why I was feeling ashamed. Everyone had told me that it wasn't my fault. Even chase thought that I was overreacting but my heart never understood.

I was too much of a coward that night. If I would have done something, she might have been alive. I felt like I was the one who murdered her. I wish I could go back in time and save her.

The only thing I could do was regret. Shaking my head, I threaded my fingers in my hair. I tugged hard on my hair while crying loudly. At this point, I didn't even care if anyone was looking at me or not. I was in pain, immense pain.

The raw nerves on my burning forehead popped out and were buzzing painfully. At the same time, my teeth were painfully shaking merely indicating a worse migraine attack.

"I am so sorry scar. I wish I had to protect you. Please forgive me for the scar. Please forgive me."I begged her to shake her grave. My fingers curled around the sand and my head met with her grave once and then twice. I just couldn't help myself. It was painful.

"I wish you were here with me. Please Scar, I can't stand this pain anymore. Please forgive me." My voice was hoarse and raw. My throat was protesting and demanding water but nothing mattered at this moment.

My phone was buzzing in my back pocket, but I didn't pay any attention to it.

I felt an unusual presence around me and for the first time, a dismissive wave of panic spread in my body. The presence around me was chilly, cold and dread. My head snapped towards the unknown presence and my eyes widen in nervous shock.

He was sitting right there beside me. His face was pale, blue wrinkles all over his face. His lips were severely bruised and broken while there was a tempting black eye on his face. His hair was tangled while his eyes were blood-red. Eyes like they were bleeding blood.

"She is right there." His voice was small filled with dread making a chill run down my spine. "She is right there." He repeated.

"Yes, she is." My own was foreign to my ears. I saw his eyes scrutinized mine and the harsh reality registered in his mind. The hope swirling in his eyes crushed under my comment and his face constricted in painful expression. A tearful sob escaped his throat, filling all over the graveyard making my own heart constricted in throbbing pain.

"Rya-n." I choked a sob and gripped his hand. His eyes fell over my other hand that was on Scarlett's grave. He shifted his hand underneath mine, taking it away from my tender embrace and placed it on my other one, rubbing soothing circles on it.

If I was thinking I was going frantic then, he was more destructive. He took a shaky breath in relief like my hand was the sole thing that was keeping him on the thread of sanity. I could relate to that fact because just some moments ago, I was on the verge of breaking down.

Since I had come back, we had hated each other guts but right now, right this moment, we both knew we needed each other. We were the only one who could understand each other's pain and me for the first time in ages, I was contented to be over here with him.

"My sister is buried right here, in this ground where I should have been. I deserve death. I have no right to live." His eyes were fierce and he roared in anger. He forced me away once again and scooted away from me.

"Get away from me." I flinched at his booming voice. With blurry eyes, I tried getting hold of him, but he was not in his right mind.

The moment I considered to reach him, he clutched my hand and twisted it painfully. My mouth gaped at the pain, but I didn't push him away. If I pushed him away today, then I could never reach him again.

"Why am I not buried there beside her? Why am I still breathing Zara? Tell me why."

"Ryan please," I begged him. Conceivably the pain in my shrill voice had him snapping out of the trance, but he did. His hand left mine instantly as my touch had severely burned him.

He clutches frantically his head in his hands and fell on the floor. I rushed desperately to his side without merely wasting a single second. He needed me, I sternly reminded myself.

"I am tired." His voice timid and filled with emotions but suddenly his eyes snapped to mine. "I want to move on Zara. I want to move on."

"We will have to Ryan."

"Will you help me?" His anxious eyes held helplessness and his hoarse voice dripped desperation. I knew he wanted to move on. He was sick of this life where the wicked demon of his past always haunted him.

"I will." I squeeze my eyes shut. I desperately wanted to stop my burning tears because for once I wanted to be strong for him and only him.

"I want to go to her room." He whispered tensely and I merely nodded my head.

We both knew we have to start from her room. It was so hard for him to even look at that door but we have to do it. His eyes shut once more and he allegedly choked a violent sob. I hurriedly wrap my arms around him making him squirm in my embrace but he didn't let go of me. I cradled his head in my lap and together we mourn for our tragic loss because we have to cry after all.