Catching My Queen

||PAIN||

"It's not the hurt, that hurts me. It's your tearful eyes, that makes me weak." ~Farwa

Ryan's POV

      "Screw this," I yelled and kicked the tyre with all the force that I had. My legs were screaming in pain and my shoulders were stiff as fuck. I have been working out in the gym for the past three hours. I would work out some more if it wasn't for my mom who called me and screamed for me to come home. I hated going to my home. The whole house was quiet as fuck and the only thing I could hear every night was my mums sob. I had no clue where my dad was lurking around. Presumably, he was on another business trip and fucking his secretary off. Even his thought made me wanted to throw up.

      It wasn't always like this. We were once a normal family. Growing up, I had one of the best childhoods. My parents were one of the best parents who would do anything for us. My twin was not only my sister but also my best friend and partner in crime. Even though we were the only children, we loved each other dearly. We were a living example of a happy family which didn't last long.

     I cursed under my breath and took my phone out of my pocket. I dialled Chase's and waited for him to pick on another side. After several rings, he finally picked my phone up. "What?" His voice was dull and he was breathing heavily. "I need a favour asshole."

"What do you want Ryan? I am rather in the middle of something." He whispered.

"My car broke down and mum wants me home in twenty. Can you take care of this shit?" I inquired but instead, I heard a feminine voice in the background. "Chase baby." I curse under my breath when I recognise that voice. Ashley, I thought bitterly. She was Cassandra's best friend and the second person who I hated the most in this world. Well, the first person should be Cassandra. These two girls were the definition of caked in makeup and not only this but extremely girly and clingy. My nose scrunched in disgust barely thinking about them.

"Fine, I will. Now leave me the fuck alone." Chase yelled from the other side of the phone declined the call. What a dick. I took a deep breath and started to walk towards my home. It was dark already so I started to take fast steps only because my mom was waiting for me at dinner, not because I was frightened. I could already feel it would be an interminable night because normally mum doesn't call me and ask me to hurry home. Its either she wanted to talk to me about something or my dad was back home.

      The thought of my dad coming back home sends a send shiver in my spine. He was one of my inspiration when I was a kid but then everything changed. His heart surrounded with darkness and the only way he dealt with his darkness was to take it out on mom and me. In the first few weeks, it was my mom who had to endure the pain. He would taunt her and insult her. This eventually made him go out and cheat on my mum. When he wasn't satisfied, his attention came towards me. That was when I was hurled into hell. My dad, who was my inspiration, started to beat the living shit out of me. While I would just stand there silently and allow him to strike me.

      He accused of everything bad that had happened. Scarlett's death, Zara's running and then eventually the strain between his and mum's relationship. For a very long time, I let him blame me for everything. I let him hit me again and again because I thought I deserved everything. I deserve this beating, his cruel ways of whipping. But then I knew dad is not supposed to be like this. Families don't blame each other but rather then they support each other.

      My mum was the only person who would come to my rescue. She helped me heal those scars. She made me realise that indeed protects Scarlett my whole life, and what happened to her was just an accident. She helps me see that if Zara ran away from the problems then it was her own mistake, not mine. I never influenced her decisions, and I certainly didn't force her to do so. Slowly and steadily, all the guilt started to vanish but there was still enough darkness clouded in my heart. I didn't let my darkness to define me, so I changed. I become more emotionless in front of people at night. It all came rushing back. I acted tough and pushed people away but deep down I wanted someone to love.