This is an OC I found while reading another Creepypasta book. I had already seen it previously, but now I am making a chapter about him! Let's get started, shall we?
"name : Jack
Know/ given name : Jack The Ripper"
Alright, hold up a minute! STOP STOP STOP. Why are you copying a real serial killer's name? It's not original and you are starting to ruin Jack The Ripper for me (I'm just interested, I don't like them like a fangirl likes Jeff). Come up with a better CP name.
"age : 20
Height : 6'7
Sex : male"
Can a twenty-year-old be 6'7?
"Penis size*for all u lovely fan girls. : 9'inch
(Not pornstar but, hell put in work...not to mention his demon grows X3 bigger than human heights. .)"
The entire reason why I'm making this chapter is because your character isn't great, how can he have fangirls? Also, NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW HOW BIG YOUR CHARACTER'S PARTS ARE, FOR SATAN'S SAKE!
"weapon's/ tech : butler knife, teleporter wriste band, katana' sword given by Zalgo"
That is a bit excessive, but whatever. Also, what is a "butler knife?" Please explain.
"fighting skill's : kendo, martial art- red belt, Mui tai boxing"
That is a lot of fighting experience! Any reason why he knows this?
"talent's : parkour, free running, Zalgo's mark on jack's chest."
How is a mark on his chest a talent? That doesn't make sense.
"- the mark give's him the ability to regenerate his body.. cut's, scars, wound's etc."
OVERPOWERED! Why would Zalgo give him this mark, again?
"- he can die* only by zalgo who gave him this type of power*"
NOOOOOO STOP. THIS SOUNDS RIDICULOUS AND YOU ARE MAKING THIS GUY A GARY STU!
"weakness/ things that can kill him : Gun's, Lord zalgo, decapitation, teleporter wrist band not on his wrist, acid , crushed by a large proxy, his own sword...."
????? This makes no sense???? You just said only Zalgo can kill him????
"Zalgo's mark: THIS MARK Is the sole purpose of why jack can't die easily"
Yeah, honey we got that. You don't need to explain further.
"info :info -Grand son of the Infamous killer "TheRipper",
Jack Was raised in White chapel, London ... Moved to the U.s. To have a better life...
but the past haunts him of his grandfather history in London to this day... Jack has turn things around though.... taking the life as a regular high school teen* some what*... From young teen turned Vigilante killer, After his first encounter with slender man.... jack was left nearly dead. bleeding out on the ground at the feet of slender man. As thing's seem to just end for the teen, lord zalgo let him live for his own purpose's."
1. Ok, which Ripper? There are several ones. Do you mean the original Jack The Ripper?
2. England is a well-developed country. You don't need to move to the crazy country known as the US for a better life.
3. He wants to make things better, but he's a murderer? I saw the vigilante part, but it doesn't make sense to me.
4. Why the interaction with the other pastas?
"Lord zalgo took him under his wing at a school called: Proxy High
after four year's of attending the school.. jack left to take what he learn to the word now filled with creepypasta killer's, psychos', thief's , etc.
Jack's was listed as an freelance assassin for proxies. but as a personal vendetta against the top killer's of the realm jack went out on his own killing spree.. hunting down anyone connected to lord Zalgo, Jeff ,and slender man."
1. I have never understood the concept of "Proxy High." Like, no. You have to special to be chosen as a proxy. Even then, you are a slave to your master. Simple.
2. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be an assassin. I think he would be a legit proxy, if he went to "Proxy High."
3. Why is he hunting down these people? They just have mere connections. AND ISN'T HE A PROXY??? If he works for Zalgo (which I think he does) he would not be allowed to have these personal vendettas or hunt down people Zalgo hasn't ordered to be killed.
4. WHEN WAS JEFF DRAGGED INTO THIS????
I'm done. I'm just so done. Also, I have stopped commenting on the appearance. I just care about what you make your character out to be and who they really are.
