Scar Tissue [2Doc]

//6//

"N-n-noodle?" 

A lump has nested in my throat, making my stutter worse and worse. The phone keeps slipping from my hands, my hands never before being so clammy. I've fucked up. I finished the joint and sucked the last remaining life from my pen. I'm high. I'm so fucking high. And I'm shaking like crazy.

"2D?? Is that you? Is something wrong?" she replies from the other side of the line. 

"Noodle. I-I-I-I-I need help. I-I-I'm scared. I-I'm so high. My body hurtsss. I need ye here... Please come here." 

I feel so out of breath. I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to puke. 

"Stay right where you are, I'll be there as soon as possible!" 

Then the line goes dead. 

The phone finally slips out of my hands, and tears slip from my eyes. Not okay... This is not okay... I'm not okay. I put a hand to my head, slicking my hair away from my face. 

"Fuck..." I suddenly laugh, more tears pooling in my ears. "I really fucked up didn't I?" Painful chuckles escape my mouth. 

I get up from my spot in bed, but as soon as I stand the world begins to swirl and spin. Objects around me creating doubles. I quickly sit back down. No,, I can't stand. I can't do it. I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my head, placing my face in my hands. My clammy hands begin to moisten even more as my tears cover a blanket of liquid around them. The everyday loud ringing of my ears suddenly begins to get louder and louder. Something in my head is screaming. It's screaming! It hurts! 

I cover my ears but to no avail. The ringing only gets louder. Louder! LOUDER!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!!

My eyes search. They search. And fall upon the wall. I'm going crazy. I'm going fucking crazy. I feel like I'm going fucking crazy. The wall. I need the wall. I get up again but immediately fall. I can't get to the wall. I can't get to it. It's too far. I want this high feeling to go away. I don't like it! 

My eyes begin to focus onto the dirty floor. I can't get my thoughts straight. I need this feeling to go away... 

BANG 

why...

BANG

cant this feeling... 

BANG

GO AWAY!!

My forehead begins to feel raw. Hitting my head against the floor isn't helping. It's not helping. I soon begin to feel something drip down my forehead, and I can only assume that the skin has broken and begun to bleed. Blood mixes with tears as they trail down along my cheek. 

I'm just so tired. I want to sleep... I want to forget. I can't seem to keep my eyes open any longer. This fucking sucks.

////

"--ke up!" 

Huh? 

"-D!"

Is someone calling me? I feel a hand on my shoulder. I'm being shaken. 

"2D, please wake up!" 

I flutter my eyes open to a familiar feminine voice. My twitching eyes scan the room until I adjust my sight on the looming figure over me. 

"N-noodle?" my voice comes out small. 

"OH 2D!" she yells in relief, sitting me up and hugging me tightly. Her strength punches the air out of my lungs. 

"What did you do!? It smells like straight marijuana in here! Why is your head bleeding? Oh 2D, what happened??" 

I put a quivering hand to my head, slightly touching my fresh wound. The tips of my fingers drench in blood. I look at my fingers then I look at noodle, a worried look plastered on her face. Noodle doesn't quite seem like noodle though. She doesn't look like the beautiful women I know and love.

... I'm still fucking baked... 

"Noodle," I say in great shame. "I'm too high. I can't move. I can't feel my body." I look down to the floor because I don't want to see the reaction of disappointment on her face. 

"I'm sorry love..."

She moves the hair out of my eyes and lifts my face up.

"2D its okay. You don't have to apologize. Never apologize for your mistakes. Can you get up?"

I shake my head.

Noodle lets out a breath. "Okay," she says.

She gets up and walks out. She comes back a couple minutes later with paper towels, bandages, and some water.

"Here honey, drink some water."

My shaking hands reach up to receive the glass. I haven't realized how thirsty I was until the liquid hit my mouth. While I drink she begins to clean the blood off my forehead and rubs the already dried trail of blood from my face.

"Thank you for being here... and taking care of me."

Noodle says nothing but only plants a kiss on my cheek. When she's done cleaning me up she takes a seat next to me on the floor and lays her head on my shoulder. This is comforting.

After a while, she finally breaks the silence.

"Talk to me nii-chan. What happened."

I take in a deep breath then sigh. "Murdoc... I was with him last night."

"Uh huuuh," she says, leading me on to continue.

She looks at me. I look away from her.

"We... we got pretty drunk, and high. And uhm... he brought me home. A-a-and we had sex." My last sentence comes out small and weak. 

"Oh," she says. 

I look at her. "Are-are-are you not surprised?" I ask completely shocked. 

"Not too much, no. See, I always kind of assumed you and Murdoc had something going on while we were still together. It was sort of obvious D." 

My face begins to feel hot as it flushes and colors my skin pink. 

"It-it was obvious!?" 

"I would notice the many late nights when Murdoc was drunk and would waltz into your room. I really don't mind if you guys were or still are in a relationship, but 2D, were all those times with your consent?" Worry trails Noodle's voice. 

I look to the floor and close my eyes, thinking back on those painful times. I slowly shake my head in shame. 

"2D that's not okay! Why didn't you say anything to me or Russle?" 

I scratch the back of my head. "I was embarrassed." 

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about!" Noodle takes a hold of my face once again. "Oh 2D I'm so sorry I didn't ask before. I'm so sorry I noticed and didn't say anything!" 

A loose tear escapes my eye and trails slowly down my face. 

"It's okay Noodle..."