Scar Tissue [2Doc]

//20//

Its an almost quite morning when I arise with my now usual back and shoulder pain from sleeping on 2D's couch. The birds sing their usual song and the garbage trucks croak just outside as they're jostling dumpsters around. I sit up and stare at the wall across from me with tired eyes. My unfocused gaze stays staring at the wall for a while as I'm feeling too tired to function at these waking moments.

I've never been a morning person, and I will never vow to be one. But to be waking up early to make sure 2D is still breathing makes it worth it.

I scratch my head before trudging to the bathroom to take a piss. As I'm washing my hands the sound of a keyboard starts to float through the air. 2D's room being across the way makes it sound loud and crisp. He plays some classical crap, not a genre of music I'm into, but one that he seems to enjoy too much. Whatever he's playing sounds rushed and sloppy though.

I push the bathroom door open and take one step across the hall. I poke my head into his room.

"Morning!" I pronounce loud enough so he's able to hear over his music.

He jumps at the sound of my voice and his head twitches a couples times. He only turns to look at me for a brief second before turning back to the keyboard in front of him. This is when I notice his legs bobbing up and down rapidly, his shaking hands pressing down on the keys hastily. Worry shoots through my body in an instant.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask, making my way in.

"Ngh- not really. I woke up with a lot of anxiety."

I let out a tiny breath of relief, thankful he now has the confidence to let me know when he's experiencing bad emotions.

After Noodle left last night 2D almost immediately crashed. The social interaction presumably exhausting him, so we didn't get to talk about his little anxiety attack. Something I want to understand more. How they work, why they happen. It seems his anxiety has crossed over into this morning.

I take a seat beside him on the bed, just far enough away where my weight shifting the mattress doesn't make him fall into me.

"What's wrong, do you wanna talk about it?" I offer.

He turns to look at me, his face looking so sour he's about to cry. He's bitting his bottom lip, perhaps to hold back his tears, but he's biting it so hard his lip is quivering.

"You can talk to me 2D."

Tears start to well in his eyes.

"I-" he starts with a gasp. But I notice the pooling blood on his bottom lip.

"You're bleeding." I quickly say, taping on my own bottom lip to show where I'm referring to.

He inhales loudly and roughly wipes the blood away with his shirt sleeve. When the blood reemerges he begins to suck on his lip slightly.

"I- I don't know what's wrong," he suddenly says. "Sometimes I experience really bad anxiety when my mind starts to wander and,, I don't know. I don't know what just came over me."

"Wander where?" I want to know.

He lets out an exasperated laugh. "I,, don't even fucking know. I wish I knew how to explain it."

I keep my gaze locked on him as he speaks to the floor, his legs still bobbing. It falls silent for a while, 2D shaking his head at what I can assume are his own thoughts. He mumbles little inaudible words. He bites his lip again, but only for a second.

"I like to listen to classical music to calm me down, but I guess I wanted to try playing some too?" He gestures to his keyboard.

"I never have before so I don't know why I thought I could. And,, so- I think not being able to play what I want to hear made me even more anxious?? I'm really fucking frustrated right now."