Scar Tissue [2Doc]

//9//

{TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG USE}

~~~

I look towards Murdoc completely dumbfounded. I furrow my eyebrows so harshly it creates a pain on my forehead.

"Why the hell would ye want to help me with that!?"

Murdoc speaks to the floor. "I just... ahh... I dont know mate." He sighs.

I glare at him. He still hasn't dared to look at me. Huh, I get it now. I chuckle. "Ye just want to help me to feel better about yourself don't ye? Ye think if ye help me now it'll excuse ye from all the shitty things ye've done in the past. Ye fucking scum."

"No! Its not like that!" Murdoc quickly snaps back. He finally looks up. Our eyes meet. I can see desperation in them.

"Then what is it like?" I sneer at him.

He says nothing but looks back to the floor.

Silence.

"Why the fuck don't ye say anything!? Huh!? You aggravate me so fucking much! Are ye fucking reflecting right now? Is now the time you're finally realizing what an absolute piece of shit you are? Huh!?"

More silence.

I can feel boiling blood running through my veins as i vent my frustrations towards the hulking man on the floor.

I stand up from the floor, my weak legs wobbling due to the weight of my own body.

"Where's Noodle?" I ask.

The room engulfs in white silence quickly after a word is said. The air is so thick with tension.

"Went out to the store to get some things for ye. Left me in charge."

I glare at him then i look down towards my arms. My naked, scar covered arms. They feel so cold. They feel so exposed. I pull down my long sleeves and sigh a small sigh.

"I'm going out." I say whilst walking towards the door to exit the room.

"Where are ye going?" Murdoc asks, quickly trailing after me.

I snatch a pair of sneakers that were tossed in the hallway and quickly put them on. "How about ye mind yer own business."

"2D ye can't go out, ye cant be trusted."

By now I've reached my apartment door, I have my hand on the cold doorknob, ready to unlock it and leave. I whip my head around behind me, to look where Murdoc is standing.

"Oh, I can't be trusted? Yer one to say, aren't ye? What about the time we had a show in L.A. and afterward ye disappeared with a women for a whole week? Or the time Russel told ye to run to the store to get him some new drum keys, and instead ye went to the bar to drink?? Do ye want me to keep going Murdoc? Cause I can go on forever!"

I feel like I'm begging to become hysterical. I can feel myself going fucking mad. I hate this. I hate this. I open the door not having the patience to wait for an answer, and leave. The door bangs shut behind me. I start to pace, leaving the apartment that is swirling in hatred.

No sooner than I could count to five, Murdoc is already quickly trailing behind me down the hallway of the apartment complex. I don't say anything because I don't want to start more unnecessary conversation, I just pace myself quickly. I won't let him stop me. I need something, anything , to get my mind off this shit.

I  need to see my dealer. 

"2D where ye goin?" Murdoc calls out, his voice echos around the cold, concrete stairs of the apartment complex I'm walking down.