HEALING THE SCARS

CHAPTER 12

PENELOPE

His lips are on mine in an instant. I can't speak out. I had promised myself not to let him steal kisses from me. I had promised myself that I would never give in to him again. I push him away, gently at first but my push gets stronger when he deepens his kiss. I can still smell and feel the alcohol in his breath and tongue. He must be drunk still. 

"Dylan stop," I say to him and he slightly pulls away from me. I can feel his glare on me even in the dark. His warm breath is over me. 

"I am just but a man Penelope, I can only control my urges so much. Seeing you in your wedding dress today brought an animal out of me. I want to possess every fiber of your being. I want to control every inch of you. I want to devour every nook you have, every thought that runs through your brain, I want to cage you up for myself." He says with a growl and possessive tone as his hand rests on my neck with a gentle squeeze. I can't help but feel a tingle run through my whole body and send waves that I never thought I would feel. My body feels heavenly and I can't deny the thrill that shoots through me.

"No, we are not supposed to be doing this Dylan. I won't allow you to treat me the way you do only for you to double down and want me sexually. That is not how things work." I say when his other hand grazes my nipples through my nightgown. The only thing I wore underneath was a pair of panties. Even though the pleasure surges through me I gather my energy and push him off me and I rush to leave the bed. He grabs me by my neck and roughly pulls me back to the bed and I lay on my stomach. Panic sets in when he starts pulling out my gown.

"Dylan, I said stop. This is not what we agreed to. Let go of me." I say and try to push him from on top of me but his weight is on my backside. He flips me over on my back now, tears off the remaining part of my nightgown, and leaves me naked. I am lucky for the darkness because he can't see my body. He trails his hand on my neck, my shoulders then to my already hardened nipples making me let out a moan I didn't plan to.

"Why are you denying yourself the pleasure your body so clearly wants? Look at the way your nipples are begging for my attention." He says and I feel his bite on my nipple. My body jerks from the unexpected pain and pleasure. I try to control myself when he blows a cold breath and goes back to sucking on my needy nipple but I find it hard to. My whole body aches to be touched and devoured by him. My traitorous body.

"I do not want you. That's just a natural reaction anyone would have. Get off me, Dylan." I respond to him, still squirming.

"Is this what you fantasized about when you were dancing with Joey? When his hands roamed your body?" He asks as his hand makes its way down my stomach and to my thighs. I don't know why but I find myself even more turned on at the mention of Joey. I try to push the thought away but when he speaks again I find myself losing control.

"I watched the way you looked at him, with hunger in your eyes. I saw how he looked at you too. Tell me, Penelope, does the thought of my best friend fucking you make you wet?" He says and his fingers graze my core. My whole body jerks from the pleasure and heat radiating. I feel a tight buzz on my clit and a moan escapes my lips and I push and grind my core on his fingers.

"So greedy. So wet. I am a selfish man Penelope. Nobody else can ever have you but me." He says and I feel his fingers plunge into me instantly with no warning.

"Oh my God, Dylan stop," I say when pain sears through me like a blade. I had neglected to tell Dylan that I was a virgin. I didn't think it would matter and I never thought we would be sexually involved either. My immediate reaction is to push him off of me. He doesn't budge and pulls out his fingers and rubs my clit.

"I can give you pleasure Penelope. All you have to do is let go. The way your body wants me is sexy and I want to show you what you are missing." He says and slides his body down mine. I try pulling away but his grip is tight and his mouth lands on my core. I feel his tongue lick me in one stroke and I lose myself in the pleasure. He eats my pussy like he is being paid to do it and no matter how much I squirm he doesn't let go. I feel an orgasm run through my whole body as my core pushes even further into his tongue. I can't control the ungodly moans that run from my mouth as I take it all in. 

He doesn't wait for me to come down from my high when he pulls himself up and thrusts into me with one push. I didn't even know he had taken off whatever he had fallen asleep in. He is big, too big for me and I feel pain radiate through my whole body as a sharp sting runs through my core. I immediately push him away from me, trying to get him out of me. I can't help myself when a cry escapes my lips and I feel tears in my eyes. He is still. He doesn't move at all when I start crying.

"Dylan you need to stop. Please, I am begging you, it is so painful." I say wondering whether or not I should tell him this is my first time. 

"I know, my size is a bit too big but your body will get used to it. You are so tight. Fuck I could come just by being inside you like this. I don't even have to move. I wonder what the other men who have fucked you felt. I want to erase their hands from your body. You belong to me." He says and he touches my clit and rubs gently. I resist his touch still in pain from his thrust as he entered me. When he brings his lips to mine I lose myself to him as I feel the pleasure starting to build back up. He starts moving again and I try as much as I can to ignore the pain when his thrusts get intense. I let it happen because I know he won't stop. Or maybe because I don't want him to.

"I can't hold on any longer Penelope. You feel too good." He says.

"Dylan, I am not on birth..." I try saying but my whisper is met with his groan as he cums inside me. His release lasts longer than I thought and I feel empty inside. When he pulls out of me. He kisses me once more and I turn my head so he misses my lips. He pulls himself off of me and falls on his side of the bed. We are both silent for a while and after a few minutes, I hear his breath heavy as he falls asleep. I close my eyes as I cry, it happened and I can't take it back. I gave myself to him. I let him take what he wanted and I was left feeling numb and cold.

I quickly find my way to the bathroom and switch its light on. I fall to my knees crying. Why did I just let him do that? Let him have a part of me he didn't deserve to ever have. I stay down for a while crying my heart out and when I have the strength I get up and go into the shower. I want to wash off his touch from my body. I feel so dirty, so disgusting, and used. I notice I am bloody between my thighs and this makes me even cry more and scrub myself even harder than I should. I know my body will ache in the morning but I don't care... I feel empty.

I washed myself for almost an hour and when I am done I cover myself in a bathrobe and look at myself in the mirror. My face is so red, from the crying... It is all too much. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide forever. I silently get out of the bathroom hoping that he is still asleep. I am very lucky because he is dead asleep. The alcohol he consumed must have caught up to him and I can't help but wish he has a severe hangover in the morning. I get my clothes from the closet and dress up. I then take the extra sheets and duvets and walk into the bathroom. I lock the door, lay them in a puddle on the floor, and sleep there. It doesn't take much time for sleep to take me.