Exulansis

Chapter 19

Get ready for this 😅

Yoongi took in a deep breath, "okay. I'll think about it."

"Thank you."

Thinking. Yoongis been doing a lot of thinking. For three days.

It was Monday, the day taehyung was coming home. Yoongi missed his friend, but was also thankful for the isolation. If Tae was there, yoongi wouldn't have been able to focus on his task at hand; figuring out his feelings for the older couple.

It was awkward, to an extent. Yoongi still went to work, came home, ate dinner with the others.

But dinner was silent now. No-one really spoke, other than "how was work?" or "how was your day?" 

Other than that, silence.

Yoongi looked to the sky. He was walking home from work, he had an extra shift,  he now felt more refreshed and happier at the convenience store since he actually now slept and ate properly.

Still light...

Yoongi nodded to himself as he turned away from his original path.
He decided to visit the one person he could always talk to.

Yoongi walked through the quiet cemetery, keeping his head low and hands at his front as a sign of respect.

He kneeled gently on the soft grass, he then joined his hands and whispered a small prayer.

"Hi Joon-bug. It's been a few days huh?" Yoongi sat back, relaxing on his back legs.

"I have no flowers today, I'm sorry. Lucky the carnations from last time are still in bloom, huh? " He gently reached out and touched the soft flower, a small smile graced his features.

Yoongi sucked in a deep breath.

"God I miss you. I've been thinking a lot lately, about a lot of things. Jimin-hyung and Jungkook-hyung... they confessed to me. Me? Some peasant thief they took in as a charity case..." he laughed to himself, "it's pathetic really..."

A soft autumn breeze blew through the boys hair, he found comfort in that. It was as if Namjoon was there, reassuring the confused boy.

"I- I don't know if I'm ready. It hasn't been long since you've left... Julian's back- what if he hurts them? I can't go through that again...."

Yoongi reached forward and placed his palm against the cold marble headstone, "I'm so sorry Joonie... if I could go back..." he threw his head down in shame.

Yoongi took a moment before starting again, "I-I'm so broken. So, so broken. What if I break them too? Like I did to you?... I want to open up... I want to feel loved again... I want to love again..."

Yoongi focused on his jeans, twirling a loose thread between his fingers, "but I still love you... I'll never stop loving you..  what if they can't handle that?"

Yoongi stayed with Namjoon for another hour, only leaving due to the quickly setting sun.
God I need to buy a proper flashlight or something... he thought quietly to himself as he turned on the light on his phone.

After he entered the doorway, he had barely gotten his shoes off when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves tightly around his shoulders

"Did ya miss me?" Taehyung asked in his cheery, yet deep voice.

"Oh tae-hyung, you scared me!" Yoongi scolded as he turned with feign anger, allowing the older to hug him.

"Avoiding the question? That means you missed me!" Taehyung squeeled as he ruffled up the youngers hair.