Picture Perfect [Jincentric]

"Yoongi​-ah"

To my closet best friend,

Ah, the sadness clutches him again. With the salutation alone, Yoongi already feels the endearment attached to his label, and he doesn't know how to feel. Is he happy? Of course he is, But that's the thing. He's happy. And he isn't supposed to be. So he's here, strandled between the lines of what to feel.

He feels an overwhelming regret. His mother said regrets were 'moral residue.' Like something hard to remove got stuck on you when you did something against your better judgement. He didn't understand it until he did something wrong himself, now the residue seems impossible to remove, like an indelible stain on his cerebral cortex.

Would anything change if he said yes that evening?
If he just stopped being unreasonable and have dinner with his hyung?

Would anything change if he hadn't sided with Hoseok that night?

If he just talked to Jin, and didn't ignore him over the smallest crap?

No, even before all of that.
Would anything change if he talked to Jin more, told him he loved him, and made him happier?

If he were a better roommate, a better dongsaeng- If he were a better friend?

Would his Jin hyung still be here?

He doesn't know, so he just feels everything all at once as he continues to read.

Suga,

It's been a while since we've talked, huh?
To be fair, it's been a while since I've talked to any of you, lol.

Guilt. Regret.

To be honest, I miss you.

Alot.

'Me too. A fucking lot, hyung.'​

I know that you're not one for pleasantries and formalities, and you know that I'm not, either. But I think that it's only right to include some, but I'll be quick, I promise.

But what would he give to have it longer?

Whenever I'm with you, I can't tell how I'm supposed to feel. Sometimes, I want you to talk more, be more proactive. Be less of a grandpa, because you're still young and if you're a grandpa then since I'm older than you I will be a fossil or something. And I'm not that old-!

Yoongi scoffs. Hyung, you're only a year- heck, 4 months, older. But he smiles anyway.

But because you're like this, I smile often. Don't you ever change. Continue being lazy!

Ah... That's such a Seokjin thing to say.

And other times, I want you to shut up, be less... uh, enthusiastic. You're all over the place.

You youngsters have too much energy to spare that I get tired in your stead. But this part of you makes me smile too. So don't change this, either.

Truthfully, if his hyung doesn't wake up, Yoongi really doesn't know if he can. He doesn't think he can.

But most of the time, when I'm with you, I know that I feel happy. Maybe it's because we're so close in age, that I feel so comfortable with you in a way unlike how I feel with the other members. When I'm with you, I feel like two older brothers watching their younger brothers, you know? Us old folk need to stick together.