Picture Perfect [Jincentric]

Day 6

"Jin-oppa is always so happy~!"

The comment rings through his head, an endless loop and repetition for reasons he himself is unaware of. Fanmeets have always been days where Jin feels so many conflicting emotions in one day, and today is no different. 

Fanmeets are days when he gets to meet ARMY, the bane of his existence- The reason why Bangtan exists, and by extension, the reason why he does. So, interacting with fans, seeing the way their eyes light up always makes his heart flutter- the one day when he feels lasting, genuine happiness. 

But, their eyes don't light up for him. They light up for the others. He's the one member they pass through to get to their bias. The one member whose words exchanged are nothing more than mere preparations and practice- Or mere obligations before they can finally speak to their idols. 

And he... Expects it. He doesn't blame them. So he pushes the inferiority away. If he could be of any use, he doesn't mind. 

But today, this simple, mundane comment stays on his mind. It's already nearing midnight, but Seokjin spends the night awake, hung up on the 6 words that had made a nest in the darkness of his mind. 

He must be a good actor, he concludes. 

Everyone seems to believe that he's happy. And he's almost proud of himself- All those years of majoring in acting hasn't gone to waste. He's glad.

But he's still not good enough.
He still doesn't believe it himself. 

Today, he takes a picture of his smile - A reassurance that no one will question and label him for what he really is-broken.