Verboten

16.

Harry convinces you to take a ride back to town on Charlotte after he packs all of his belongings into his saddle bag and helps the both of you dress. He puts his returned boot back on his foot and gives you a kiss in recognition, resting his mouth against your forehead and breathing in the lavender scent of your hair deeply.

You gather a strong sense that Harry is not happy about leaving and it's not clear if it's due to him being worried for your safety or simply him missing you, but either way his languishing is palpable. It does cross your mind that he could possibly be worried for his own safety regarding whatever business he is handling, but you have convinced yourself that he is invincible.

You hug his waist tightly as Charlotte trots back towards town, the sun threatening to set as it hangs imminently above the mountains in the distance. Your cheek rests against the flat spot on his back between his shoulder blades, feeling his ribcage expand and shrink with each placid breath.

Crickets begin to chirp with the first stroke of dusk right as Harry pulls on his horse's reins and quietly utters a loving 'easy' until she obediently snorts before coming to a halt. He glances over his shoulder to garner your attention but you whine and squeeze him tighter, "thank you." You lift your gaze to him and immediately focus on his mouth, "godspeed."

He kisses you with twilight at your back, the first handful of stars appearing to butterfly the indigo sky and your hearts shattering to dust at Harry's forthcoming distance. He backs away and strokes his thumbs along your cheeks and lips, removing his hat first and fixing his fingers into the slinky chain of his cross necklace.

You shake your head and press your palm to his chest, weaving your fingers into the chain as a silent plea for him to keep it. He tugs your fingers away and kisses you again, slipping it up and over his head before lowering it around your neck. The metal is heated and heavy against the skin of your chest, your fingers falling to hold the powerful amulet in your grasp.

You remove your pocket watch and replace it onto Harry's neck, his fingers pressing the latch to reveal the face of the clock to him. The time reads 8:14 p.m. and this moment feels fierce for the both of you; as Harry studies the ticking of the second hand, he speechlessly hopes that at this time tomorrow evening, he will be returning your mother's watch back into your hands.

He lifts the cross from your chest and brings it to his mouth, closing his eyes in consideration as he prays that the person he has been stalking for months is still there. He prays that he won't be noticed or get caught, he prays that you will be safe in his absence and he prays to make his family proud. His eyes flutter open to find your head tilted down as if you were praying for him as well - he tugs on the chain to capture your attention and pull your face close, attaching your lips together with a hum, "'the longest way must have its close, the gloomiest night will wear on to a morning'."

Your chest heats and your mouth spreads into a smile at his optimistic Uncle Tom's Cabin citation. He dismounts Charlotte and reaches up to help you down, cupping your neck when you're steady on your feet to kiss your mouth, your forehead and your mouth again one final time. He whispers farewell against your lips and watches you walk the final stretch into town until you disappear into your usual alleyway.

The crowd parts for you as you decide to stroll right through the saloon with healing bruises decorating your otherwise fair face, your chin raised as you nod at customers and waitresses on your way to the staircase that leads to your quarters. Fingers wrap around your arm and pull roughly but disengage when you spin on your heel and twist your arm like an unhinged wheel.

Your father's hardened gaze studies your face in an effort to hide his surprise at your agile ability to fling him off. He glances around the room in embarrassment and sneers at onlookers before he recovers by crossing his arms across his chest to appear robust, "you're on stage tomorrow."