I'm Sure You've Heard It All Before

thank god it's friday

It's Friday and after Aleeah sent the text I've been on the fucking edge all day. I'm worried he won't text me back because like I said before, he's really cool. Like Aleeah-cool. Cool cool cool.

Usually on Fridays Aleeah comes over to my house (or vice-versa) and we talk shit about people or watch Netflix. We've been watching 13 Reasons Why, very late in the game because we wanted to read the book. Which was shit by the way. But the show is okay.

Aleeah doesn't love it and she's not super invested as much as I am. She told me that the show perpetuates the glorification of suicide. She's not wrong, really I agree with her, but it's good.

But she didn't come over today because I told her not to and surprisingly, she didn't fight me on it.

She held up two hands in front of her when we were standing outside after school had finished.

"Alright, Robin," she had said, "but I am barging into your room tomorrow morning and asking for alllllll the details, baby."

She had this knowing look on her face. But I ignored it. It wasn't funny. Aleeah needs to...chill, okay? I get one crush and she turns into a huge deal.

Have I mentioned that I hate when people make things a big deal? Hate it. You do that with me and I'll probably go insane from anger.

Aleeah knows this, which is why she immediately drops it.

"Ugh, Rob. Lighten up, okay? It's just new to me and I want to see you happy." Her voice went quieter after each word so when she said "happy", it came out almost a whisper.

Aleeah means well, I know this. I should be grateful for her since she really is my favorite person. And she's told me multiple times that I'm her favorite too. God, I literally fucking suck.

"Sorry. I just.... want to go home. And forget about Franco since it's been four hours and if he hasn't answered now, he won't answer at all. Love you, Lee. See ya." I look at her to wave and she smiles sadly.

When I reach the subway station my phone pings and I take my phone out my blazer pocket to check.

I love you more. From Aleeah.

I smile to myself and put my phone back in my pocket but not before going on Spotify and going to my "emotional" playlist. Because I fucking need some sad music now to make me feel better.

The subway arrives to take me back to the station near my house and I get on and find a seat.

When I sit down, slumped as hell, I close my eyes.

God. I needed to stop thinking about cute Franco. Something was so different about him and you know, he was probably just being nice to me this morning which is why he even talked to me. But he asked for my number. It's so fucking confusing. I'm confused.

I had a crush on a guy who I may never see again and yeah, he goes to my school, but it is literally impossible to be friends with someone outside your grade because the school is way too separated.

This sucks. It really fucking does. And now I'm pretty sure Aleeah thinks I'll never fall in love because I'm too bitter for love and relationships. Aleeah is a mini fireball and everyone likes her because her energy makes you want to be around her. Probably why it was so easy for her to get a girlfriend. And honestly, it is beyond me why she always wants to be around me.

I bang my head on the window behind me. And another two times because it helps me take my mind off things.

Over my music, I hear,
"Dude, you've got to stop doing that."

My eyes flick open immediately and I rip out my earphones.

It's Franco.

It takes my mind to adjust to him since I forgot about him for a good 2 minutes.

"It's comforting," I say.

He sits next to me.

"You sure? 'Looks painful, dude."

I don't know what to say. I try not looking at him. God, he's so cute. Cute guys never talk to me.

"You should stop doing that. I'm serious, you could get a concussion." He says.

If I look at him, I swear to God I will pass out right here in the subway.

"Hey, so, did you ever text me that Queen lyric? I couldn't check my phone since my asshole teacher took it away. My parents are going to pick it up later and they are not happy," he laughs.

"Oh, yeah the Queen lyric. I did actually."

"What did you say?"

"'Jaws was never my scene and I don't like Star Wars'."

"Bicycle Race! I love that song!"

Crush status: super high

"I'll save your number in my phone. Once I get it back."

He's smiling and I realize he's been smiling this whole time.

He shifts more to the side, facing me.

"How was your day?"

I shift towards him. He pushes his glasses up and his face was red for some reason.

"It was..." I really don't know how to describe this day.

Franco looks at me expecting an answer.

"Weird," I breathe out.

"Oh yeah? Why weird?"

"It just was. I have lots of weird days."

"Crazy," he says.

The subway makes an announcement that we've arrived and we look at each other. His eyes are brown, like mine, but for some reason, it's like the prettiest brown I've seen. And brown is not a pretty color.

I stand up and clear my throat.

I point at the door. "This is my stop."

"Well, I'll see you later."

He looks up and down at me with this smile on his face.

"Definitely."

I take one more look at him and get off the subway.