I'm Sure You've Heard It All Before

i like you

Franco and I's sleepover was pretty uneventful besides us coming out to each other.

After we were done with two John Mulaney specials, Franco just wanted to crash, so I let him.

He had to wear my pajama pants since he didn't bring any clothes since our sleepover wasn't planned. But I don't know, seeing him in my pajamas was pretty... odd.

It's the same weird feeling when I saw him in my room for the first time. It's intimate, but nothing was more intimate than the moments we had after we came out to each other.

There was a feeling in the room, and I know he felt it too, that we now shared this thing together that we hadn't before.

It felt good.

So him sleeping right next to me, in my bed, in my pajamas, all I wanted was to feel that same feeling with him again.

So I did something.

I put my hand on top of his.

I definitely was not planning on doing that when we both climbed under my sheets.

Or after he said goodnight to me in this voice that I haven't heard from him.

But here's the thing. God. He moved my hand so our hands were clasped together.

Maybe he was asleep when he did that but I for sure was not, I couldn't sleep after that so I probably got like 15 minutes of sleep.

Anyways, we had breakfast in my kitchen that morning but he didn't bring up the hand holding. In fact, he acted completely normal. We just talked about school assignments, new music, and Netflix shows until his uber was here.

It was a normal depart, no different from our other ones. I guess he was asleep when he held my hand.

Whatever. It's not like a big thing.

Anyways, Aleeah and I never see Franco at school so we always hang out together after school. Best thing about living in a city is that there's literally so much to do so that's what the three of us have been doing: everything.
We tried different coffee shops, which I protested before Franco and Aleeah forced me to go to this high-end coffee place that I have never even heard of.

The coffee was fucking awesome but I pretended it was alright since Franco and Aleeah looked smug when I didn't spew it out when I took my first sip.

I loved hanging out with my friends. I loved hanging out with the both of them separately.
I mean yeah, I got a teeny bit jealous when Aleeah and Franco would hang out together alone but it's okay. They get to have their own thing like I do with each of them.

This is nice. It's been a while since I slipped into a pit of depression and I think it's because of them.

Oh and yeah I still have a crush on Franco and I can't believe I'm saying this but I think, I think, he might like me too. It sounds crazy but every time we have a sleepover by ourselves or even with Aleeah, we sleep in the same bed but we always end up holding hands. I don't know if he is just overly affectionate or just doesn't notice but he can't not do that and not like me back, you know?

It's 10 o clock at night right now and I just finished a ton of homework. I like my school but the academic pressure is insane. I had three finals today because our last day before winter break is tomorrow. I'm excited since that means more time with Franco and Aleeah and watching Christmas movies and making cookies with them.

It's gonna be a good break, I think.

I'm in my bed with my book to wine down for the night when I get a text from Franco. He texts me a lot, usually it's memes or just wanting to talk about stupid shit.

Franco: hey

He doesn't do this. Just a simple "hey"? I mean he says "hey" but he follows up with something.

It's night, he said "hey" to me, what does he want?

I reply with "hey". I don't know what else to say.

Three dots. Then they go away. I put my book down and hold my phone tightly.

The dots are back.

Franco: dude, i love hanging out with you. it's kind of insane how much i constantly want to be around you.

Oh my god. Look I know that we're friends and he doesn't completely dislike me but I just want to know why he's saying this now.

I reply with: i like hanging out with you too :)
The smiley face was stupid but I realized it after I sent it. So whatever.

Franco: it's also kind of insane how much i think about you.

I... I don't know what he means by this so I say, wdym?

He replies quickly.

Franco: are you serious?

Me: yes

My heart is beating really fast because I seriously don't know what he means.

Franco: robin, i like you

Oh. Oh god. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. He likes me. Franco likes me.

I feel myself smiling. This can't be real. Franco likes me back. My crush likes me.

It sinks in. And I can't stop smiling.
I reply quickly to him.

Me: i like you too.

Franco: so what are we gonna do about that? :)

Fuck. He's so attractive for wording it like that.

Me: hang out tomorrow?

Franco: i fucking love that idea.

I put my phone down and smile in the the dark.

My heart is racing, my body is warming up, I even fill dizzy.

I can't believe this is real.