True Colors (joshler, multi-fandom)

31 - Don't Leave Me Alone

One annoying road trip and two days later, Tyler was staying in the comforts of his grandfather's house, with other extended family for Thanksgiving. It all seemed like a normal holiday, though Tyler was afraid of one topic showing up at the table. And sure enough, it did.

The last thing Tyler heard before taking off to his room without warning was something about going to hell, no matter how good you were, if you're gay, you'd be damned. That alone was the last straw. Tyler didn't notice his mother and grandfather watching out carefully for him for the past two minutes, then leaving his whole family in shock as he runs back to the guest room he stays in.

His phone is charging on the bed, which he immediately picks up without unplugging the cord, and calls Josh. He picks up, the first two words from the receiver already providing comfort. "Hey, Ty."

Tyler's breath hitched, almost to tears. "Josh. I'm scared."

"What happened?"

"My uncle was talking about...about how being gay was a sin. And I started- I started to lose it. I felt cold. Like my bones were frozen. Like there was no life left in me."

"Tyler. You know there's nothing wrong with us. You told Ruby. You told me. We're fine. We'll make it to the golden gates."

"I don't get it. I don't get why- why we have to be forced into these expectations just to be accepted. Why can't- why can't we just let our true colors show? 'Be yourself.' Yeah right. As long as 'yourself' is socially acceptable." He takes a sharp, shaky breath. "I don't think I can do this, Josh. I don't think I can make it through the rest of the-"

Someone's knocking on the guest room door he's hiding in.

"Tyler? Sweetie?"

It's his mother. He's too overwhelmed to yell back to her, tell her he's okay.

"Tyler?" Josh asked. "Are you alright?"

"D- Don't... don't leave me alone." Is the last thing he says before starting to cry. He holds his phone closer to his face, tightens his grip, and curls into himself. He wished Josh was here right now, holding him like he did in the forest.

He heard his mother walk away, which usually isn't something she would do, but she probably heard from the door that Tyler was on the phone. Good. He's left alone, but not alone.

Tyler's crying simmered down to small sporadic gasping, all his tears left on his mint green and white striped shirt. Josh is still on the line.

"Tyler. Baby-"

"I'm sorry." Tyler was sudden, but his voice is still choked.

"No, don't be. Now. I wanna hear you say you're gonna make it."

Tyler was thinking more about how Josh just called him "baby." Maybe it was out of pity. That or he really cares and loves him enough to give him a pet name, but just this one time, Tyler convinced himself the former rather than the latter, but still couldn't believe it.

"Baby..." He repeated to Josh.

"Yes?"

"You called me 'baby.'"

"I did. Now tell me, friend, please, that you're gonna make it."

Friends like always, and will be forever. Friends, but with a different status. Best friends who happen to be in love, really.

"I'm- I'm gonna make it." Tyler whispers.

"I need you to believe it."

"I'm gonna make it."

"One more for good luck."

"I'm gonna make it."

"That's my boy."

"I'm just wondering, where did you get that...uh...mantra? 'Cause that didn't sound like you."

"It's not. It's Brendon's method, he let me borrow it if something like this happens. Even though I've been here for years, I still don't know how I would comfort you. I was scared of you turning on me."

"No, Josh- why would I get mad if you just don't know? I think it's sweet how tightly knit we all are. I wouldn't have thought in a million years that popular boy Brendon would care about me this much. And you took after him."

"I mean, he definitely has a way with everyone. Like he can read our minds."

"Yeah. But really, thank you."

"You're very welcome."

"Can you stay with me a bit longer?"

"Absolutely."

"I just want you here right now."

"I know, Ty. I do too."

Tyler could faintly hear the voice of his mother coming from the front of the house. She sounds serious, and Tyler goes up to the door out of curiosity. He hears "It's how he is, and the very least you can do it accept it."

"Tyler?" He hears from the receiver still close to his face.

"I think my mom's scolding my uncle. About the comment that made me come back here."

"Good. He owes you an apology."

Tyler hears from the front of the house, "We don't have to know why. We just don't question it."

He heard footsteps coming towards the door, and Tyler retreated back to the guest bed, phone still in hand.

"I'll have to call you back, Josh."

"Okay. I'm here if you need me."

Tyler ended the call after a quick "Love you" and his mother knocked on the door again. "Tyler? Uncle Daryl wants to apologize."

Tyler slowly opened the door to his mother with a sorrowful expression, and she sees Tyler's face is red from crying. He leaves the room with his mother following behind, to his uncle standing up at the table.

"Tyler, I'm very sorry for the comment I said. I didn't realize that you were- and really, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'd never hurt my own nephew."

Tyler remained cautious and said nothing, but nodded.

"And I won't...discuss things like that anymore when you're around."

Tyler nodded again.

Another voice spoke from the front of the table. "Tyler-"

It's his grandfather.

"I'm sorry for not hearing about this the way you wanted. I understand this felt unsafe for you. I love you just the same and I hope you know we're all a family."

"I know, pop." Tyler choked out, finally.

The rest of the night still felt heavy, but at least the family found other things to talk about than staying silent, letting the dark cloud get heavier. His siblings with his little cousins at a different table were shocked as well, but didn't know all of what happened. Tyler would have to let them know eventually.