A Change Of Directions (Camren)

Chapter 9: I'm sorry

I was still a bit exhausted from yesterday but not exhausted enough to not feel nervous.

Standing on the porch of the Jauregui's I fidgeted with my hands, hesitating to ring the doorbell.

I could understand if Lauren didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. After unvoluntarily showing her my ugly side, I didn't think she'd want to keep contact with someone so abrasive and damaged. I had lashed out at her and ditched the spanish project, so she had every right to ignore me. But to my defense, she had provoked it. But she couldn't know that it had hit so close to home.

I would never admit that, not even in silence, but it hurt me. Lauren said I was afraid of being myself. If she was that observant, she would've realized that she wasn't being true to herself either. But it was okay, because being true to yourself in modern society was a death wish, you wouldn't survive for long if you depended on acceptance and approval.

But something about Lauren made me want to behave better around her. Maybe it was because her innocence, her belief that all problems started with not being yourself, that I wanted to protect her. A little bit naivety wasn't that bad, healthy actually; it was the little light that could sometimes guard you out of the darkness. But too much of it and it would blind you.

And corniness be damned, I wanted to prove her wrong. I wanted to show her that yes, things weren't perfect but it didn't mean that I couldn't enjoy my life anyway. Just as sex could be enjoyed without love, life could be enjoyed without meaning.

Lauren would learn to appreciate my unorthodox views on life. She needed a friend like me.

Determined, I finally raised my hand to ring the bell, but someone else beat me to it. The door flew open, revealing a dark haired woman around forty and I guessed her to be Lauren's mother.

"I've watched you stand here for five minutes now." She suspiciously said with raised eyebrows and the question where Lauren had inherited this expression from was solved now.

"Erm, yeah." I awkwardly said, "I'm Lauren's...friend and I just wanted to offer her a ride."

The woman frowned and leaned against the doorframe. "Why? Did she crash the car again?"

"No!" I quickly replied, trying to think of a good lie, "It's just that she gave me a ride yesterday and I wanted to repay the favor."

"Ah, why didn't you just tell me so." Lauren's mother said in relief, now a small smile appearing on her face. Her stature relaxed a bit, which made me wonder why she had been tense before.

"How come I haven't seen you before? May I know your name?" She friendly asked.

"It's Camila Cabello, Mrs Jauregui. And I've just moved here from New York, I'm new in Lima." I politely said and offered her my hand, which she took with light astonishment.

"Hm, what a well-mannered girl. And from New York you say? Why don't you come in and tell me more about yourself?" Lauren's mother offered, genuinely interested and she retreated a few steps to let me in but I mumbled with feigned hesitancy.

"No, I don't want to bother, I will wait outside..."

"So modest!" She chuckled and pulled me in by the hand, not noticing the smug look briefly crossing my face. Closing the door behind her, she positioned herself beneath the stairs and yelled. "Lauren, a friend is waiting for you!"

Not receiving an answer, Lauren's mother shrugged and led me to the kitchen, softly pushed me down on a stool and poured me a cup of coffee, not without me decently protesting of course.

"Shh, I've rarely met someone so polite and respectful." She waved off my protests with her hand, "Why can't Lauren's other friends be more like you? For example that Dinah girl, fiery Tongan..."