A Change Of Directions (Camren)

Chapter 16: Christmas

"Do they know it's Christmas."

I loudly groaned and turned the car radio off, glaring at the snowy road as I drove in a very slow pace so my car wouldn't slide.

It was the same, every damn year. Yeah, I was talking about Christmas.

I had never really bothered to celebrate it; first, because I had no parents to celebrate it with and second, this mushy time of the year made me gag.

So my friends and I had developed our own tradition – getting drunk on eggnog and glogg, then going to Central Park to start a snow fight, then getting arrested for 'inciting public disturbance' because it turned out to be a mass snow fight, and then sleeping it off in a police station before we get released without charges because it's 'Christmas, the time of love and forgiveness'.

But, of course, this year was different. I was spending Christmas in Ohio and I couldn't escape it, some certain show choir members made sure that I got pulled in to the madness of sharing sappy moments together, exchanging cheap presents, wearing that ridiculous Santa hat.

So, I was currently on my way to Lauren to give her my present, she was the last stop on my 'dish out presents' tour. Yeah, I had spent the whole day driving around with lots of good stuff in my SUV, personally handing over presents because a certain Raven had made me do this. She had been horrified when I had told her that I had never celebrated Christmas before.

So here I was, playing Santa Clause of Lima. Except that I had a Range Rover as my transportation, instead of a sleigh pulled by reindeers.

This was my way of making it up for the lack of Christmas action the previous years, giving presents to everyone I knew and cared about. The show choir members, my bro, even Coach Cheryl got a present from me. Her reaction was quite strange, but not unusual. I had given her a tracksuit, limited edition, it was gold and had white stripes.

"Oh, Mila, I am aroused with pleasant suprise at this wonderful and predictable present. Now off you go, I need to call this cheap company and kick their bony asses for not naming this masterpiece 'Chedidas."

I had gotten my own megaphone in return with the Lima senior high cheerleading logo painted on it. "Treasure it. Bow to it. Worship it. This baby lasts five years if you don't urinate into it and don't think about placing it in front of your other orifices."

So, yeah, this holy megaphone rested in my backseat, along with a few others peculiar presents adressed to me. One of them was a huge box of condoms. Given to me by Dinah.

"Dinah, I'm as rainbow-gay as you, I don't think that these will be necessary if I'm not sleeping with dudes."

"Who said anything about these being for disgusting Neandertals? They're for you loser, don't want you to knock up our cheerleaders before we've won Nationals."

Yeah, Dinah was being very considerate about my non-existing penis and I already regretted my decision to get her such an awesome present.

"Okay, loser, just because you have a dick doesn't mean that I need one to satisfy Mani."

"Come on, this strap-on has an additional vibration function."

"I said no. Mani, baby, what do you think?"

"I'd like to try it out tonight."

"Hand it over, loser."

Normani's present was much more thoughtful and sweeter than her girlfriend's, though I'd probably never use it. It was a lingerie set with ducks printed all over the fabric and it made 'Quack, quack' if you touched the bra.