A Change Of Directions (Camren)

Chapter 24: Acceptance

Of all the times I had stood here, waiting for someone to open the door for me, this was the most nerve-wracking and terrifying experience. This tension was almost too much to take, I could barely breathe under the pressure I had made for myself.

Now I could understand why Dinah had felt so nauseous that day, when I had forced her to make up with Normani. I wasn't feeling any better, and I didn't even have somebody to mentally support me as I stood there by myself. Admittedly, I had forbidden Shawn, Dinah and Normani to accompany me, because this was my battle. My mistake, my fault, and only I could set things right.

The door opened, and everything I had prepared to say and do flew out of my mind.

"You."

It was Clara, not the Jauregui I had originally been seeking for. And though it wasn't by any means strange or irregular to find her opening the door for me whenever I went to Lauren's, something was definitely wrong this time.

The older Jauregui looked at me with a blank expression and her greeting had been curt, almost unpleasant. There was a possibility that she had been this irritated before she had opened the door for me, and I just had been so unlucky to choose this moment to knock on the door. But something told me that the scrutinizing look in her eyes was meant for me.

"Hello, Ms Jauregui." I nervously stuttered, already feeling intimidated under her hard stare.

"Lauren doesn't want to see you." She briskly said, out of the blue, straight to the point.

Overwhelmed, I choked out, "I'm sorry?"

"Well, you are here to see her, aren't you?" Clara shortly said, and the now apparent unpleasant undertone in her voice killed me. I had never been treated like this by her, and I couldn't help feeling hurt.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"And she doesn't want to see you. So you can go back home now."

And she did it again, killing me with her unwelcoming words. She wasn't even openly insulting me, she wasn't rudely telling me to fuck off, yet there was nothing that could've hurt me more.

I had always respected her, admired her even, for her strength to raise Lauren on her own whereas Samantha had given me up. I almost saw her as my missing mother figure in my life. The way she always put more food on my plate when I was already full, the way she reminded me to dress warmly and drive safely whenever I took Lauren to school; everything about it made me feel like a loved child. It reminded me of the days where my fathers used to do these things for me.

And now she was giving me the cold shoulder, pushing me away, throwing me out of her house. It fucking tore me apart. Nothing hurt more than rejection from the ones you loved and cared about.

"Please, I need to see her, it's important." And the desperate undertone in my voice couldn't have been more apparent. But Clara's expression stayed indifferent.

"Really?" She said, raising one eyebrow. "What's so important that you can't wait to tell her on Monday in school? She's still not feeling well, as you might know, since she's missed school today as well."

"No, I need to -"

"You need to?" She interrupted me again, and I felt robbed of air, stolen of everything I tried to hold on. "There's nothing you need to do now. There's nothing you can do now. It's better if you leave."

Why was she doing this to me? Did she know that I had broken her daughter's heart? Was she trying to protect Lauren? Why couldn't she at least let me mend things, repair what could be repaired of our friendship?