A Change Of Directions (Camren)

Chapter 19 : Valentine's day

Time went by so fast, I had just blinked this once and another six weeks had passed, now being in mid February.

No, I didn't forget what had happened on New Year's Eve. I just liked to block out this memory because it obviously had only been a 'heat of the moment' thing, I mean, everybody would've gotten second thoughts about kissing your best friend on New Year's Eve with their face just one inch away.

It was the loose athmosphere, the star filled night sky and the romantical glow of the dim street lights that tricked my mind into wanting to lean in and kiss Lauren. But I was glad that I hadn't done it, it would've been wrong on so many levels. She had been so insecure in that moment, she had only been seeking for acceptance and someone to care for her. Not someone to take advantage of her vulnerable state.

And friends didn't kiss each other on New Year's Eve. Maybe only friends with benefits and maybe only a peck on the mouth, but not a real kiss. This just wasn't what good friends were supposed to do with each other and we had already passed that age where we could call it 'only experimenting'.

No, it had just been an intense moment between friends. And I guess that Lauren saw it that way, too, since this...this almost-kiss, almost mistake had never been mentioned between us again.

What about the disappointment in her voice?

She had just been disappointed that she hadn't been able to kiss her freaking boyfriend that night.

I still wondered what Dinah had done to him, I hadn't seen him on New Year's Eve at all.

Anyway, the school term had started again. School was still boring, the teachers were still lame, the lessons...no need to explain it further as we all had been there, done that. Or still were in the middle of this shit, like me.

I didn't know where to start. It wasn't like that many things had happened, but at the same time, everything had changed. I felt it. I slowly turned into someone different. Someone I had always feared of becoming. Someone with a conscience and a heart.

Just two weeks ago, I had turned down an easy lay with one of the hottest girls in Lima High, a Cheerleader as well. She was Dinah's replacement and quite up the pyramid, not to mention her super model looks.

But I just couldn't accept her - admittedly, very tempting - offer because her cheerleader uniform reminded me too much of Lauren and I wasn't able to look at her without thinking of my raven friend. And it would be super awkward if I tried kissing that Cheerleader and suddenly saw Lauren instead, so I let it be and gently rejected her.

"You're - you're blowing me off?"

"I'm sorry, please don't take it personal. You're really pretty, but I just don't feel like it."

"Oh, now come on, don't play hard to get."

"I'm not, I just think that you deserve better than a one-night stand."

Girl swooning. "Gosh, you're so hot when you're all charming. I won't give up on us, see you around." Sultry wink.

So I basically just made it worse for myself. Even though that girl was off my back now, the new rumor about me suddenly becoming Princess Charming had spread like wildfire and now, I had to deal with this on a daily basis. And it usually went like this (I'm gonna strip down the conversations to the basic messages):

"I wanna fuck you."

"Nah, you're better than that."

"Now I wanna fuck you more for refusing me."

And it was exhausting. Dinah was getting jealous of all the attention I received, Shawn being Shawn was simply impressed and wanted to learn how I did that, Noah was just amused and sometimes helped me to get rid of the 'fangirls' as he liked to call them, and Lauren, well, she was not that enthusiastic about this new development.