A Change Of Directions (Camren)

Chapter 45: A Change Of Directions

So this is it...the last chapter

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"What do you mean you'll be just staying for summer?" Kate's confused voice rang out of my phone speaker. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Yes, it means exactly what you think it means," I patiently replied. Sprawled over my bed, I had my phone lying next to my face, which was half-buried in my pillow.

The line went silent and I could imagine my friends staring at each other in disbelief.

To be fair, I could've told them sooner of my plans to finish high school in Lima, but the appropiate moment never came up so it had come to this. My friends were just ringing me up and asking when I would return to New York, and now they learned that I would only be back for summer. With Lauren of course.

"So," Jake's voice piped up from the other side of the line, "you really want to stay there for another year?"

"Have I been not clear enough?" I mumbled into my pillow.

"Wow. Just, wow."

"She must really love her," Nikki whispered and the other two agreed with a hum. I rolled my eyes.

"People from school will never believe us if we had to explain why Mila's not coming back," Kate said.

"Yeah," Jake laughed, "they're gonna think we're shitting them. Our Mila staying in a hellhole for another year - and that for a girl? Are we talking about the same Mila who refused to stay in the same bed for more than a night?"

I turned on my back and grunted. "You do realize that I can hear you."

"Yeah, we do and we wanted you to hear that," Kate knowingly replied, her voice getting louder as she talked to the phone again. "And? How does it feel like?"

"How does what feel like?" I sighed, innerly preparing myself for a sneaky question that would most likely be uncomfortable to answer.

"You know, the big 'c-word'."

"Nikki, what is she talking about?" I impatiently asked.

"Well, my first thought was 'cunt', but I think she means 'commitment'."

Scrunching up my face in confusion, I was about to probe for more clues when Jake let out a groan and quickly said, "What Kate is trying to say in her weird ass way is, how does it feel like to be in a committed relationship that's been going strong for a year now?"

"We got together in February and it's May now. I didn't know you were failing Math this year?"

"Well, you two were already acting like a couple when we visited you in December, so excuse me if I assumed that this relationship has been established since forever."

"And for Mila, one month of relationship equals a decade," Kate added. "I remember how her longest relationship before Lauren was two weeks, and they didn't even see each other most of the time."

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "Thanks for bringing up the lovely memories I try so hard to forget. I really wish I could take all of this back, none of them deserved that."

It got silent once again.

"Can you please act less surprised about this?" I tiredly required. "I know I used to be an asshole and I'm really not proud of it, but can we get over it? It's not like I don't already hate myself for it."

Jake hesitantly cleared his throat. "You know how much we don't like hearing you talk about yourself in that way."

"And before you deny it, you always find a reason to hate yourself," Nikki cut me off before I had the chance to speak up. "You always do this. Even when there's no reason, you still find a fault in you."