Tainted Soul • Lightwood. [ON HOLD]

S I X

Clary explained to him what happened, and how it happened. And Justin understood it, he didn't blame anyone but Valentine.

He didn't blame Alec, but the raven-haired boy didn't understand it. He felt guilty. Alec didn't know what to say to Justin. How can he face the boy he liked after he killed his mother? What can he possibly say?

Alec was so devastated that he shut everyone out, and apparently that is a common way in Shadowhunters, because Justin shut everyone out, too. He wanted to mourn his mother alone and in peace, even when he didn't do much mourning. He just couldn't. He was locked away in is room, staring out at the window.

Justin was numb. No tears were leaving his eyes and that worried him. Why am I not feeling anything? This was my mom. He sighed, and threw himself on his bed when a knock sounded through the room.

Justin groaned at that. "Leave me alone!" Another knock came, this time a voice followed. "Justin, it's me." In record time, Justin was opening the door and letting Isabelle in. "Izzy, I'm so glad you're okay." The redhead hugged his friend, cautious enough to not hurt her shoulder.

"You, too. I'm sorry for allowing them to take you to the City of Bones." Justin chuckled. "Don't worry, we saved Alec, that's all that matters."

Isabelle smiled at him, but she couldn't help but wonder why he was fine, and how. "Justin..." The redhead knew exactly where this conversation was going. "I don't know, okay? I don't know why am I not crying, or even mourning my own mother."

Justin threw himself back on his bed and messed up his hair. "I hate this. You know what the last thing I told my mom was?" Isabelle sat beside him and caressed his thigh. "I told her that I didn't need her help and to stay away from me." Justin chuckled, ironically at how true his statement came. "I didn't even say goodbye to her."

Isabelle laid beside him and hugged him. "We all mourn in different ways, Justin. It's normal. I think, right now, you're in denial and you just wish everything was a dream. And when you're ready to face reality, just know I'm here for you."

How did I get so lucky to have a friend like her? Justin pulled Isabelle closer to his chest and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Izzy. For everything." Isabelle smiled at him. "That's what friends are for."

Isabelle then left him alone for the night, and he was back to his thought of how a horrible son he was to Jocelyn and how harsh his last words to her were.

➰

"You wanted to see me?"

Justin closed the door to Aldertree's office after entering. "We haven't had a chance to talk about what happened in the City of Bones," Aldertree said, standing up from his chair. "To be fair, my mother just died."

"That's true, and I offer my sincere condolences." Aldertree didn't spare a minute for Justin to respond. "What you and your brother did there may look to the Clave as what you were trained to do, but to me, I saw unprepared soldiers allowing a deranged criminal to make it off with one of the Mortal Instruments."

Justin furrowed his eyebrows. "Hold on a second. First, I was trained by my mother away from the Shadow World, so I'm sorry you think I'm unprepared. Second, we saved your life. What? We should've let you die?"