Broken Until You

Chapter 13 - The War Within Me

Autumn

It has been a week since I've spoken to Ryder. The last time I was with him was when we were typing the essay at my house and then when I got a text from Derek, he went all bezerk. The past week, if he saw me in the halls he dared not to look at me, in English he didn't sit in his normal seat (which was behind me), and he hasn't even called or texted about getting together to work on the project.

I just don't get why he would get all upset over Derek. Whatever happened between them in the past I have to find out about.

The day Derek and I saw Ryder at the park, Ryder looked furious when he acknowledged Derek. But Derek? Derek seemed unimpressed; like seeing Ryder upset wasn't anything knew to him. Why would Ryder be so upset and not Derek?

If we're going to be truthful then I hate how he's been acting this past week. The one thing I didnt want to happen, happened.

He became cold towards me.

The cold flowing through his eyes fascinated me when it wasn't towards me. But when he looked at me, I feared the cold.

Have you ever seen him without cold eyes?

That made me think. I really have never seen his eyes match his smirk or light up. Even the day I barely knew him and confronted him infront of his friends, he still had a look in his eyes that could kill. But most of all, they held pain.

Maybe he's hiding something that he wouldn't think me or anyone would find out about.

Too bad he forgot eyes speak just as loudly as words if not more powerful.

I want to figure him out, I really want to.

Some nights after my father abused me, I would just lay in bed and think about how incredible and frightening it is that I've only known Ryder for a short amount of time, and yet the darkness in his eye and the lack of emotion in his voice has slowly complicated my life.

It terrifies me how fascinated I am by him.

"Autumn? Pstt! Autumn."

Blinking rapidly, I turn to face where the whisper came from. "Yes?"

Ruby's eyes held concern as she studied me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been staring off into space for 30 minutes now. You missed important note taking. You're lucky Mrs. Jacobson didn't notice you were not paying attention."

The internal groan in my head was louder than all the thoughts consuming me as I took notice that I got lost in my wandering mind as the whole class was taking notes for the physics test in two weeks.

Of course the one time I zone out is when we're supposed to be taking notes.

The.One.Time.

All I did was shrug. "I'll figure something out."

She looked up at the clock and smiled. "When the bell rings, Taylor, Grace, Lila and I are taking you to lunch. I know we will skip 4th period but we will only do this once."

"Oh no it's okay–"

"I'm not asking, Autumn. Just by the looks of it I can tell you're in desperate need for girl time."

Giving in, I sighed. "Fine. But just this once."

"What's up?" Taylor asked as she slid into the empty seat at our lab table. "I heard my name from across the room."

"We're taking Autumn to lunch in 3...2...1." The bell to leave class rang and Ruby linked her arm through mine, rushing me out the door as Taylor followed suit.