wordlings

💕

Have you ever been under the piercing stare of someone, that you get the sudden urge to bare your soul to them, even though they didn't ask?

Well I have.

His scrutinizing gaze was so intense, I felt like he could see the depths of my mind, and was silently beckoning on me to confess all my sins, while he judged me.

Every subtle contact he made with me - even if it was just the clash of his warm skin against my clammy one - ensured that a word vomit was made. One uselessly random fact about myself, and one more nothing from him.

I wanted to impress him. I needed to set my eyes on that smile of approval no one had ever seen, I needed it to feed my insecurities, reminding me once again that I was a parasite. But with him it didn't matter.

Confidence in another's emotions towards me, was one thing that never happened.

But I noticed somethng about him; His hands. They never left my skin when we were together.

At dinner with his family, his fingers traced both our names under the table, unto my thighs.

In public, our hands entwined, cold lips meeting with colder hands.

And during the most intimate of moments, his hands squeezed and traced, mapping my skin once again.
His palms burned into the soft skin of my backside, teaching me to obey and love with reason.

Sometimes I felt like I didn't love him enough, as I just spoke and spoke. but he showed me how to love with my soul, and not my mouth.