Lessons From Romance

Sorry & Thank You

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Namjoo didn't want Chae Yoon's words to become her truth or reality. Men and women could be friends, it just depended on how they managed it. The more she tried to fight Chae Yoon's words away, the more they became visible inside her head. Suddenly she could hear Chae Yoon's voice repeating itself within her mind.

Namjoo turned when her phone went off and pulled it out of her bag. It was Ki Chan calling.

"Sorry to bother you," he started, "are you busy?"

Namjoo peered out of the window into the dark streets lit up by the pretty street lights, the stores, and cars going to and fro. Her eyes landed on the buildings alongside the street and thought of how she should be nearing Luhan's place.

"Is something wrong?" Namjoo wondered.

"Actually, I'm not feeling well right now," he said, "do you mind coming over for a while?"

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Guilt...was more overpowering than he'd ever remembered it to be. Ki Chan felt as if he deserved to be stoned for conning someone so innocent. Namjoo always had a big heart, being the first to forgive even when she'd been wronged. It made him feel even more awful about this scheme. She would probably hate him when she found out later what he was up to.

When he thought of how Namjoo's eyes would never look at him again he felt invisible strings tug at his heart painfully. It was a rare sight to see Namjoo angry. Throughout all the years he'd been acquainted with her, Namjoo had never gotten angry. He'd seen her sulk and become upset, but that was as far as he'd seen. Otherwise, she'd always try to understand everyone.

Setting down the heating pad he'd pressed against his forehead he stared at the ground distraught. He hadn't felt self-loathe for a long time, but today he was experiencing it for the first time. How...he hated himself.

He didn't deserve Namjoo or her heart. She was too good for all of them.

When the doorbell rung he stared at the door wondering if he should open it at all. Run, he wanted to tell her, escape and leave everyone behind. He wanted to tell Namjoo that she was walking into a realm where everyone would stab her.

His nails dug into the heating pad before he walked into his room, chucked it in the closet, and started toward the door.

"Are you ok?" Namjoo asked.

He sought out the worried lines on her face, her eyes reading of concern for someone she cared about.

How...he hated himself.

Namjoo pressed her warm hand to his forehead and he caught the drop of her jaw. His heart constricted painfully and he, instead of desiring to hug her wanted to push her out the door. Yet, he hated himself even more because he wanted her to stay with him.

"You shouldn't be up," Namjoo quickly pushed him around and pushed him toward his bedroom.

As they passed his living room he reminisced the memories where they used to sit as college students, studying and eating ramen late into the night.

"Have you eaten anything?" Namjoo asked drawing aside the blanket for him.

"I had some pizza earlier."

"What the heck?" Namjoo said. "You shouldn't be eating that stuff. I'll make something for you to eat. No wonder you're burning up. You call yourself a doctor?"

"Are you really nagging at me right now?" He asked and smiled. "I haven't heard you nag in a long while."

Namjoo shot him a look, drawing the covers over him, "You have medicine in your cabinet, right? You're a doctor, you should."