Lessons From Romance

Protecting Kai's Heart

Namjoo's apartment was very quiet afterward. For a very long time she lay on her bed sobbing on and off. When the sun rose up she still hadn't been able to fall asleep and she didn't get up.

Kai would be at the airport by now, but wouldn't go see him off. She couldn't see him off with the very same smile as she had four years ago.

Nothing was the same anymore.

She had lost her life line.

A weak cry left her before she curled up to cry into her pillow again.

Namjoo had never hurt this much before. The weight in her heart just got heavier and heavier, the pain, like claws gnawing at her heart.

Her phone started ringing, but Namjoo didn't care anymore.

As the day droned on Namjoo twisted and turned in bed when hunger ate at her stomach. For a long while in the evening she successfully fell asleep before waking up to that depressing wallow in her heart.

Weakly rising from bed she walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on intending to jump in for a wash. Instead she stood there watching the droplets hit the ground, its every death reminding her of how Kai had come by to quietly say farewell, and how part of her had died.

She hadn't been ready for it. She hadn't been ready...

In the end she hugged herself and just cried some more, welting out some loud childish sobs before sitting on the ground.

She missed him already.

Why wasn't he calling?

As night came around Namjoo resorted to sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. As the dark liquid warmed her body up Namjoo suddenly found herself normally breathing again. Pressing a hand to her forehead she inhaled and exhaled calmly before walking into her room to sit down on her bed.

Kai always said she was smart and capable; that she always made the best decisions and he was proud of her for that. And she thought she could hear his voice in her head. It was perhaps her biggest encouragement.

She couldn't cry, she wouldn't cry anymore. There was a chance Kai wasn't crying either. He would try to be his best over there and she would have no choice, but to do what she'd always been doing. So during the time he would work hard over there, she would work hard too and when he returned...whenever he returned...he'd look at her proudly and she'd smile at him proudly too.

As long as he would be proud of her, she would die of happiness, so until then...she just had to keep going.

Grabbing her phone she glanced at all the missed calls to find that they were from work.

Setting her phone down she stripped out of her clothes and into her uniform before driving off to work in the middle of the night. And all she could recall later was reporting to duty and bowing her head in immediate apology for skipping her hours.

"Do you know if I can have some more hours?" Namjoo asked one of the head supervisors when the sun came around again. "I think I have more time now, so if there's any; give them to me."

"Namjoo, you're already working 40 hours a week. What do you want to do? Work yourself to death?"

Smiling, she just said, "It's the money that counts, doesn't it?"

The supervisor shot her a frown before she laughed awkwardly and walked away. She didn't think she'd ever be any happier if she couldn't keep her mind off Kai leaving.

On her days off she'd take to lying around the house staring at the TV without paying attention to what was on or sometimes she'd just stare at nothing at all. Namjoo didn't think she had the energy to run around as she had before anymore. In the end, what was the point anyway?