Lessons From Romance

Second Secret

Right when they stopped at a red light Namjoo turned to look at him and Luhan immediately wanted to slap his lips. It was already too late to realize that he had no right to know about what went on between her and Kai at all.

An embarrassed smile crossed Namjoo's lips at once and her eyes darted down before letting out some sort of baffled noise.

Feeling apologetic for the inconsiderate question Luhan tried, "S...sorry...I didn't really mean it like that..."

"Yes," Namjoo cut him off, bravely looking at the car in front of them. "I liked him. I still do."

As if he'd been in some type of blurry fog Luhan felt it imminently fade and found himself staring at her appalled for no reason whatsoever. Maybe he was becoming curious about what kind of person she was.

"You might think it's weird, I guess that's ok, but it's not like I've broken the law," Namjoo continued as if she'd faced contradictory before. "Do I make it obvious? Everyone might know him as Kim Namjoo's step-brother, but to me he's been more than that. He's like my moon and my sun; so special, you know?"

As if stars were dazzling within the core of her eyes she looked elsewhere dreamily.

"Yes, I like him," Namjoo spoke more confidently this time and turned to glance out the window in a forlorn manner. "When mom took over the business, I felt abandoned in that big house. My sisters looked at me strange, I felt like an outcast, but Kai; he gave me a home."

A tall business tower was extending its reach into the high heavens while the white clouds moved by. The structure on their left was sturdy and stood alone in its height among the surrounding blocks. Like a metaphor of her feelings the tower seemed to promise not to crumble, but would never be allowed to be touched just like those clouds making their way by. It was like Namjoo and Kai who could only be siblings and only that.

Namjoo also looked regretful, sad.

"This is a secret," Namjoo turned to him with a sudden smile as if she'd never been sad at all. "Our second secret."

After being dropped off Luhan watched Namjoo drive down the street to make her way home. She'd really dolled up just for today, he realized. He couldn't understand the depths of Namjoo's feelings. All he could think about was how she'd ever become attracted to her step-brother to such an extent.

"====="

Tired from the day's fun Namjoo found herself lying in bed even before the clock struck 10:00. While lying on her side with the moon striking in from through the blinds she stared at the white walls peacefully. Within the reach of her hand was her wallet. It was one of her most treasured items from Kai she'd received before he left. The blue leather it'd been sewn from was still anew and fresh because she'd taken to such care of it. There was even an instance where she'd sought out a fabric solver to help her clean up the wallet.

There were pockets for her many cards just above the picture carrier. In its slot was a picture they'd taken at a coffee shop. A throb in her heart ensued as she stared at it with her eyes sparkling against the bright coming into her room.

Namjoo couldn't explain how good she felt knowing that he was back. It was almost as if her heart was whole again. Instead of looking at the possibility of dark ahead, she only saw the light and the many new days she'd enjoy with Kai.

Her feelings were always very personal to her and she'd rather keep it closed off than sharing it with anyone. Namjoo knew well of the scrutiny ready to jump her if she ever talked about herself. Others might tell her her feelings were farfetched, but Namjoo knew they weren't. She was valid, her feelings were valid as well and she wouldn't let anyone tell her otherwise. Namjoo knew her insides would be a shame to her family, so she always kept to herself.