Dear younger me,
If I told you that you were going to cry yourself to sleep a lot
If I told you it just gets worse,
If I told you you'll start dying your hair
Cause you learn to hate the ugly shade of light brown it becomes,
If I told you you'd spend hours staring at yourself in the mirror
Trying to desperately find one thing you love about yourself,
If I told you that you would starve yourself some days to try to look even just a tiny bit skinnier
If I told you you'd pig out on food other days
Because you lose self control
If I told you that you'd learn to hate everything you love because it only makes you sad,
If I told you that you tried killing yourself a couple times
If I told you that you found comfort in the middle of the night or the pouring rain rather than the sunny days
If I told you that you would lose yourself more day by day...
Well you would've ended your life before it even begun
Dear future self,
Tell me i learn to sleep without having to cry myself to exhaustion first,
Tell me it gets better,
Tell me I go back to my natural hair and keep it that way so I can stop bleaching it and damaging it,
Tell me I learn to look in the mirror, smile, and be confident,
Tell me i finally learn to love myself,
Tell me I start eating healthier and learn to love that I may not have the body of a model,
Tell me I gain control over my life,
Tell me I start to love the things I create and they'll bring me joy again,
Tell me I never had anymore attempts and that I make it to the end alive,
Tell me I learn to find comfort in the middle of summer with my friends,
Tell me I gain pieces of myself day by day,
Tell me I should keep going and not end it before it begins
-Lily Anna🥀
