as i lay by your side ♡

On the road to a better destination.

Since Sean & I decided we wanted to fix our marriage we've been working so good as a team.  It really feels like old times again, like nothing ever happened. Its like we're newly in love all over again, whenever im with him i dont feel hurt anymore, its like he...makes it go away, and considering he's the one who hurt me i find that very odd. And whenever he grabs me and kisses me, my heart just gets reminded that everything that were fighting for is so worth it. I love this man with every bone in my body my soul feels enlightened when im around him.

We're on a strike to get everything we want done, to get it done. He got fixed, now its time to search for a new home. Just Sean & I are in Florida house searching, at first we were looking at Boca Raton so we can be really close to my family and it would be cool to raise our kids in my hometown, but we both have been liking the Miami / Tampa area more.

"Baby i really like this house" Sean says coming up from behind me wrapping his arms around my waist as i take in the ocean view from the master rooms balcony. "Me too love, i think the kids would love it too. And its really the perfect place for us, its a beautiful place to raise our babies" i turn around smiling at him.

"Sooo are we buying it?!" Sean cheeses at me excitedly, "let's make this our home!" I sequel, he picks me up and swings me in excitement, "hell yeaah im so excited baby" Sean says, "me too honey" i laugh and kiss him.

The realtor then comes out to the balcony with us, "soo guys, what do we think?" "We're gonna take it man" Sean says, "i think that's a very good idea you two!" The realtor says.

After singing all legal documents and filling out papers, and paying for the house in cash, the realtor then handed us our keys and smiled with excitement, "congratulations you two, your new home is all yours!"

We then got back home to my childhood home where all my family was chillin in the backyard having a bonfire. "Hey guys" i said as me and sean were going towards everyone, "hey, so how did house hunting go?" Joan asks.

"We bought it!" I say smiling as everyone got excited.

"Yay! Now we can all move back here and live by each other like old times!". Joan says excitedly as we all laugh, "yeah woohoo to no more privacy and personal space cause we all live by eachother" frankie says sarcasticy joking, "you know what frankie, choke!" Joan says making us all laugh. "Alright babies it's getting late it's time for bed" Sean says. "But daddyyyyy I was just about have have another smoore" nohlan wines, "yeah about that make sure they brush there teeth real good" I say, "its 1030, c'mon nohlan I'm not gonna fight with you" Sean says picking him up.

Aria then started getting fussy so I picked her up as well, "c'mon babays we gonna go night night" I say in my baby voice, " ohhh her and this baby voice" Sean says making everyone laugh, "oh shut up".

Once we got the kids all washed up and tucked in for bed, we began reading them night time books. "So mommy, were moving?" Ailani asked, "yeah baby, were gonna stay here in Florida. We bought a beautiful new home for us today" I smiled. "What about our friends back home?" Nohlan asked, "we can always fly back to California to visit them or we can always fly them here, that wont be a problem ever. And daddys family is moving to Florida too so now all of our family can be together" Sean said. "And guys you guys are gonna love the new house, the dogs will too, it's so beautiful and big and there's more play room. And we can also make new friends, and new memories with our family and be closer to nonna so we can see her all the time" I say. "And were gonna talk about it more tomorrow, everything's gonna be okay we promise. We love you guys, good night" Sean said as we kissed all 3 of them goodnight.

"Sean now I feel so bad I never thought that that's what they would worry about. There 5 &4, what 5 & 4 year old worries about things like that?!". "Baby it's an emotional thing with them and its gonna be okay I promise once were officially moved and everything is settled we can let them have play dates and well let them say goodbye to the house. Everything is gonna be okay, I got it" Sean said chucking wrapping me in his arms. "and that's why I love you. Best daddy and husband ever" I said pecking his lips, "all for you baby" Sean smiles at me kissing me once more.

The next morning were on another flight back to Cali to officially begin our move.

We get back to our old home and get greeted by all of our dogs, "hiiii mommy's babies babies. It's only been a couple days you guys missed us much?" I said as me and Sean greet them. Me and Sean officially just put our house on the market, it's an emotional move for us as well, we've built a family here and a hella lotta memories over the last 6 years. Beautiful memories, and alot of dark ones also. But overall this move is healthy for us, we have a new life now and we need a new path. For us and the kids.

3 days later everything is officially moved out of our old home and our old home is officially sold. We transferred the kids schools, we helped Sean's family get out of there house and flew them to Florida so they can start to house haunt. The kids flew back to Cali with the family so they can see there neighborhood friends and say goodbye to the only house they have ever known.

Were having a bbq with some neighborhood friends and family, as a farewell last night at this house. I'm feeling very emotional and sad for some reason, I think it's just really hitting me that were leaving this house. I go back in the house to walk around, it's so empty and bare. Tears immediately flew to my eyes, just alot of memories in this house, it's an emotional attachment, I'm gonna miss it here forsure. I was so worried about starting over and creating a new begging for us I never really thought about what I was gonna be leaving behind. "Baby you okay?" Sean asked grabbing me from behind. "Yeah I'm fine" I say wiping my tears away, embarrassed that I'm crying over leaving a house. "baby its okay to be sad, we lived here for a long time, this was our first home, the first home we brought our babies home to. We had beautiful memories here and it's okay to be sad to say goodbye. But everything isn't meant to last forever, we had fun here but now its time to move on and make better new beautiful memories, in our beautiful Miami mansion, with our beautiful healthy kids and family, and I can promise you baby our life is gonna be beautiful. And I can I promise you I will make you and the kids the happiest people alive. Everything is gonna be okay" Sean said kissing my neck. I smiled sweetly with tears in my eyes still, and turned around facing Sean, "your right about everything baby. Everything isn't meant to last forever.....but we are" I say. Sean smiled sweetly at me and kissed me, "damn right we are" he said making me giggle. "I love you baby. I'm gonna miss this house." I said "I love you too, me too" Sean said holding me tighter.

As the night got later we let the kids stay up, and we all talked around the bonfire about all the happy memories we had at this house, even memories before the kids came along. Laughing, tearing up, reminiscing about the last 6 years. Crazy to think were actually moving. As the night ended everyone went home, we said our goodbyes, our family went to there hotel rooms and let us have our last night here just have it be us 5. We got a big blow up mattress in our old room, with lots of pillows and blankets and snacks, we all snuggled up and stayed up watching Harry Potter movies. "Wow this is the best night ever mommy" ailani said happily, making me and Sean chuckle. "Oh were gonna feel it tomorrow morning at 730am when we leave for Florida" Sean as we laughed. As the night went on we all dozed off snuggled up with each other.

The next morning we got up, and got ready for the day. We packed up the last little things we had to leave behind till this morning. We got all the dogs gathered up and there belongings to to another car that our assistants were driving in. We then packed the car up, made sure the house was locked up, and we started to pull off. "Say byeeee house we love you" I said, "bye house we love youuu" the kids and Sean said in unsion... off to start a new life.