ISKRIBOL (Mga Suka ng Isang Bored na Otistik)

Suka #62

You will always be a screw-up. The eager you accept that fact, the less is the damage. You will fail. You will fuck things around and people will laugh at you. Yes, they will laugh, the bastards. You will screw things up and the bastards will make fun of it. That's inevitable. People make fun of screw-ups. The bastards are witless motherfuckers who don't know anything but to laugh and jape at others. But you are different. You screw things up, you fail, you fall, you stay silent, you ignore all the japes, then you get up. You are one silent motherfucker yourself. But you are the good kind of a motherfucker. You talk with sense. Your mind is in a chaos of colorful ideas. But no one understands that beauty of yours. You are different from them so they will treat you like a duck in a herd of lions. You are one lonesome duck dancing in the bloody slaughter of fierce lions. Dumb as they are, they will start killing each other. What a ruckus of half-wit comedy it will be! Blood and gore and the smell of idiocy will linger in the air as you, being a duck, will get the hell out of there and live a badass duck life. You will be one proud duck.

Now screw the duck analogy. You are now back to being that awkward skinny madman who specializes in spazzing. Your mind is in a constant battle with your body. You think all the time; you think too much. That's where you start screwing things up. You worry too much. You have a lot of what-ifs juggling in that pretty mind of yours. Too much that you are not actually doing something. You think, and you think hard, and you think too much that you lose the grip of actually doing something. That is why you screw things up. You are fragile. You are in fear of destroying everything that comes your path. You are one awkward bastard. Is that bad? No, not at all. That's not even the problem.

It is a personal fight; between you and that noisy dumbass who drags you down with pessimistic spits. Of course you can do things. You can be good at something. But that dumbass thinks otherwise. Damn the fucker. He screws you, in turn, you screw yourself. It's a no-win situation where you get all the damage. You need to silence the fucker. Patch that cursed mouth of his with self-confidence and a little pride, or arrogance, or what the hell, both.

Remember, little man who screw things up: You ain't got a loose screw in your head. That pretty mind of yours is titanium solid. You are designed to be that way for a reason and you have to live to find that reason. Your race has a success rate of a hundred percent in finding such reasons. It will never be hard for you.