Hey, do you like me? - True Crush story

Hey, do you like me? - Part 8

<YAY! Officially, the start of Winter Break for my school!!> 

I couldn't fall asleep. I was still wondering who I really was. I literally don't even know who I am anymore, either. I felt really guilty. I was always just caught up on trying to hide who I like, that I totally forgot about Reina's feelings. I hurt Reina's feelings and I regretted it. As a rolled in bed, I thought of an apology to tell Reina. I needed to tell her the truth.  The truth about why I've been acting up lately. The truth about who I really like. The truth about my real self, at least, I will try.

I woke up to a bright and early Thursday. I practiced as I muttered out what I was going to say to Reina, I had to tell her today or at least before this weekend. I got to school early, so that I could get this settled and have a regular day with Reina. Reina wasn't at school yet, so I stood at her locker and waited. 10 minutes until the school bell, I saw Reina through the crowd. She was talking with one of her friends as she approached her locker. I inhaled and stood aside so that she could access her locker. She looked up at me, then she started to fidget with her locker lock. She didn't make any eye-contact. I forgot what to say. Everything I memorized the other day just vanished from my head. Dang, it. I just stood there like an idiot, with my mouth open, like a goldfish. I just watched Reina take out her books, she closed her locker, glanced at me once more and walked off. I wanted to shout "Wait!", but I was only able to whisper. 

I hated myself even more, for not speaking up. Well, at least I still have two classes with her, I told myself. It was time for English class. I murmured the words over and over again until Reina appeared at the door. As Reina entered the room, I sat up. She looked dull compared to always. With her two pigtails, she always looked like a bunny. Every day, with her sparkling eyes and her smile that never dies, she always looks like a cheerful bunny always hopping around. That was another reason I liked her. Today, her face looked very gloomy, and somehow it made her look like an upset bunny with flopped ears. 

I forced on a smile. Reina plopped down next to me and started to take her notebook and a pencil out. She didn't even bother to look at me! I started to panic, was she mad at me? I must have upset her real bad, I thought to myself. I just wanted to see her smile, just once. I haven't seen her smile for a few days. I was about to pull out a joke so that I could see her smile when I realized...

It was my fault that she was upset. Because I hadn't treated her right, because I hadn't cared for her feelings. Because I was too scared to claim who I really liked, because I never spoke out for Reina. Because all I cared about was my own good, not Reina's. At the start, I just wanted to like Reina without anyone knowing, now I've made it more than that, worse than that. Now I've lied to her about me "liking" Megan, now I've just been barging in and disrupting her life, now I've made the person I like upset and gloomy. Regret spread through my entire body, head to toe. My heart started to ache. 

I looked towards Reina, who was looking out the window, her head towards me. "I'm sorry," I said in my head. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice rising. "I'm sorry!" I said louder. Reina turned towards me. She heard me. 

"Hm?" She asked, cocking her head. Nevermind, she hadn't heard. 

"Umm...uh, n-nothing," I murmured. Reina still looked confused, I guess she hadn't heard me. I started to attempt at the second time of apologizing. 

"I'm so-," I was cut off by our teacher's booming voice, telling everyone to "be quiet".  Reina looked back down at her notebook and started to focus back on her work. I sighed. I was so stupid. I lost my second chance. Ugh.

English class ended, with us not talking at all. I kept on looking towards her trying to find the perfect timing to attempt another try. But, even if I tried, I couldn't speak out, my words never came out of my mouth.

I walked towards my locker when I saw a bunch of girls yelping and surrounding something. I pushed through the gang of girls to see what they were all squealing about. There was a table with two girls sitting in folded chairs. A poster was plastered behind the two girls, that read "Valentines Dance! Get your tickets for two!! $4 for 2 tickets!" Right, the Valentines dance is next week, I thought to myself. There were a bunch of other girls waving dollar bills and yelling for tickets. 

"Are you planning to buy any tickets?" said one of the girls at the table. She was looking at me, so I assumed she was talking to me. I stuck my hand in my pocket and dug out a 5 dollar bill. I slammed the bill on the table and said,

"A ticket for two, please,"