ENLISTED

Genesis

Genesis

Maybe it's the beginning of something¿
•••

Half my life has been as fringes, hanging by a thread, unwinding, becoming something for someone. I often wonder if that is the case for mankind, whether everyone's seasoned with a whirlpool of questions. The sort that toss me into a gloom vortex of the unknown, with unanswered sentiments.

It has always seemed to me that much of everything stays subtle, like the grayness from the thin line between black and white. The stalemates, the ends birthing other beginnings. Does it frustrate you to know so little of your entirety? Ugh, maybe this is one complexity I wasn't wrought for.

Like, mama rushing to that general hospital in the dusk, alone, troubled by a thousand tortuous pangs. Grieving, groaning a way for her child into earth and being birthed in the first watch of the night no less, becoming something. She often harrowingly recounts that day, how raw I was, in the month where barely was ripe."You were quite something my child, quite something. If not for The Lord, you'd have taken me to the grave and Papa, well, he would've remarried. Then your siblings...oh, you know¿" I sighed, I always sighed about her lament of how my birth story unfolded, it should've been easier like my siblings, I presume she must've Hebrew birthed them without writhing.

Not withstanding, being the seventh born and yet, staying somewhat imperfect—to date, saving face for my faint heartedness. Still, I try not to beat myself up over this, these taints, I encompass all that I am, all I was meant to become. It is as it should be, I think, if not, let me hold on to the belief that it is what it is. I've ever so wondered how greater forces orchestrate everything I'm unable to perceive and these only breeds more questions for my fazed mind.

And while we are on this, it shouldn't surprise you that I'm currently drenched in thought about my lifeline. The time left for my days and all the infinite chances that mayhap slipped through the past decade. I figured you'd be interested?

Sorry, I must've lost you amidst my rambling, must've left you reading between lines of scribbled words entailing my being—unveiled, in script. Bear with me friend, can I call you that? I guess I will, seeing as you've met me on the pages of a book I didn't think I'd have written. There I go again, forgive my mind trip, this is all foreign to me, writing my mind out, they say it helps. Maybe it's the beginning of something?

Oh, I'm Dinah, for now.

•••

Thanks so very much for reading, this book is near and dear to my heart. I'm very grateful you took your time.

Please leave your thoughts in the comment section. I'll be sure to reply.