Stupid Love

My Impulsiveness

Did your parent(s) ever teach you self-control? Did they ever teach you to not act on impulse? You would think that mine didn't teach me, they tried their best, but no such luck. God, I wish they'd succeeded.

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I leaned back in my chair, three days later, and my back was still sore.

"Today we're starting a chapter on creative writing, which personally is one of my favourites." Mr. Davis informed us with a smile.

"Personally I don't care." I muttered without even thinking. That was one of my problems, I acted on impulse, I often blurted out anything that popped into my mind which got me in trouble.

An example being when I was at a girl named Mariana's birthday party in fourth grade.

I'd worn a purple dress, the fabric stopped at my knees and I had black nylons on underneath. I refused the flats my mom tried to convince me to wear and slid on my red rain boots.

After cake and presents, we all went up to Mariana's room to play a board game.

Midway through she looked me up and down and said; "Don't you think your dress is a little short?"

Now Mariana over here had on a bright pink dress and it went just an inch longer than mine, and had pink and purple eyeshadow just smeared over her eyelids and messily done lipstick. I raised my eyebrows at her and said; "Don't you think you look like a clown?"

And that is the story of how I was sent home before the sleepover. Now Mariana clearly ended up forgiving me, and we just grew really close from there. I think at the time she was just mad at me cause I was winning the game.

"What was that Natalia?" Mr. Davis asked. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

"No, not really." I replied.

He gave me an intimidating stare.

"No, please, enlighten us. We'd all love to hear your thoughts." That sentence was accompanied by a fake smile. I already knew he'd heard what I'd said. I just stared back at him blankly.

"Natalia?"

"Fine! I said that I personally don't care."

"Well then, would you like to leave the classroom?"

Yes please. "No, I... apologize."

He smiled. "As I was saying before, today is the beginning of our creative writing unit." He carried on as he paced the classroom. "I'd like you all to start by writing a little bit about your worst fear."

I looked around to see the annoyed expressions written over everyone's faces. I for one, wasn't too fond the topic either. I for one, hated being asked personal questions like that.

"If you have a phobia you may also write about that. Or even just a time when you felt scared." Mr. Davis added.

I stared at the blank sheet of paper in front of me. I didn't know what to write, I hated the feeling of vulnerability. I'd been scared on numerous occasions, but I never showed it. I always kept it all together, always pretended like I was invincible. I picked up my pencil, finally deciding what to write, I put on my best serious face and began.

There was a time during this summer when I was scared. I hate thinking about it, I hate remembering the feeling of my heart pounding, and the anxiety tightening and constricting my chest, the feeling was unbearable.  

It was sweltering hot that day, my father had dragged my cousins and I to the beach. Even in just my cropped shirt and shorts I was hot.

With the AC blasting we drove into the McDonald's drive through for ice cream, I remembered the last time we were there the ice cream machine had been broken, as it often is. My heart picked up speed as we ordered four cones, the suspense killed me, the suspense of waiting to see if we could get that well needed ice cream.

Thankfully, God above had blessed the Earth and the machine was working just fine. Praise the Lord, amen.

Satisfied with my work, I sat my pencil down and let myself relax.

"Natalia?" An annoying voice said.

"Yes?" I replied.

"You're done?" Mr. Davis asked sceptically.

I nodded.

"May I take a look?" He asked and that was actually a stupid question. It was an assignment meaning he'd have to look at it at some point. Stupid.

I shrugged and pushed the paper towards him, once again forcing myself to hold a serious look.

I kept briefly taking glances at him while he read, he furrowed his eyebrows and looked more confused by the second. His eyes scanned up and down the page, rereading it to make sure his eyes did not deceive him.

He set it down and locked his eyes with mine. "Is this supposed to be some sort of joke, Natalia?"

"No it's not, and I find it very impolite for you to insult my hard work, and take invalidate my fears." I stated.

He stared at me blankly. "You're sure this is what you want to hand in?"

"Positive."

"Well I suppose that's fine, and you can have some time to think about it over detention." He said with an annoying smile before taking the paper away.

I still had a over a week left of detention, lovely.

I rolled my eyes as we walked away and decided that I did not like him.

A/N

Another chapter done, I can't tell if anyone's enjoying it bcs nobody's voting or giving any feedback :') but that's okay, I'm having fun writing it :)

Thanks for reading, ily ❤️