A Rock and a Hard Place

After the Day I've Had

I smile as I approach my family, who all wait patiently behind the fence by security. I sign them in, greeting them as I do. When they get their passes I finally get to embrace them all.

Tabby is first, and she's almost as tall as I am despite the fact that she turns thirteen in two months. She's trying to isolate into teenage angst early, wearing dark clothes and casually ignoring her elders when it suits her, and it makes me as laugh as much as it makes me frustrated. She cuts the hug short, and when I call her by her nickname, "angel cake", she rolls her eyes and stares at her phone.

Terry is next. He pulls me into him as he says, "You look great, kid."

"Not looking so bad yourself, bud," I reply, smiling at him. He has his long hair pulled back into a bun, and his muscle tank shows his strong figure. His hazel eyes are bright and my heart feels warm at the sight.

And finally, our mom. She's gorgeous, wearing an LA Ghouls t-shirt and torn jeans under her denim jacket with her hair pinned up. In her arms are tupperware and I can only imagine the delicious things she's brought. "You're gonna' roast in that jacket!" I tell her as I embrace her. She's warm and smells like clean linen and old perfume. I've never felt so secure.

On the bus, a similar situation starts with Juan and Andy. The guys hug my family while Eric just waves and shakes hands, not knowing them well enough for embraces. Tabitha warms right up to Juan the way she always does, finally breaking the angst spell. Terry and Andy have always gotten along famously, almost like brothers. I'm excited to finally see my mom again after what's felt like forever, despite the fact that it's only been about a month.

We all sit in the lounge for a little while, catching up and staying cool inside. Terry tells me about the agency he's working at and the steps they're taking, and how happy he is working between soup kitchens, shelters, and charity stores. Tabitha has just started her summer and is excited to be going into eighth grade this year. Mom has brought us some of our favorite staples: vegetarian noodle soup for me, vegan orange "chicken" for Andy, biscuits and gravy for Eric, and spaghetti with meatballs for Juan. We all thank her profusely, but she's gracious about the gift. With all of the extra kitchen space in her restaurant, and the extra time since she owns it, she says she was happy to make everything for us.

My set comes before Andy's today, so we all make the journey to the Right Foot stage. Tabitha is excited for our set and it's good to know that she only has the facade of anti-socialism instead of the real thing. Terry knows Marty from high school so they catch up a little. Mom is fascinated by all of the work it takes to get a show like this running. We all stand around and chat as we get hooked up and make sure everything's going right. I'm nothing but jittery in the best way possible for the set. My family being here puts me at such ease. What used to give me anxiety now gives me such comfort.

I excuse myself and I walk into the trailer for a moment so I can listen to my bass and make sure it's in tune. Marty usually does a good job, but it's simply habitual for me. I hold my bass to my ear, strumming a few times for every string. It sounds good, so I turn to step out and immediately freeze. Belinda is by the entrance, peering around the corner, and when our eyes lock hers widen and she whips around to go.

"Wait!" I call as I chase her. I turn the corner quickly and her back is still to me as she walks to the ramp, but I call out her name and she freezes. I pause for a moment too, not sure of what to say. She turns to me, caught, and my breath hitches. Her hair is wild and her skin is glowy, and I'm intimidated again by her beauty.

"What?" She finally speaks.

Her tone puts me off, and I feel like I'm back in reality again. She isn't this ethereal vision from my memory come back to haunt me. She's my ex-girlfriend. I've seen her at her best and worst. And she's the one who's started frequenting my shows.