A Rock and a Hard Place

Before My Brain Can

While I had picked Belinda up from her house before, when I pulled up to her curb a sense of awe still washed over me at the sight. She lived in Claremont in a gated community full of cookie cutter two story homes. The house had a three car garage and a cement walkway that was lined with ground level lights. She even had a front porch with a little table and two chairs. Her yard was filled with rose bushes and smelled sweet despite us being in the cold season. When I approached the door it even had a door knocker, but I just used my closed fist against the chipless wood. The porch lights felt old by their ornate design, but they clearly weren't.

Belinda opened the door with a smile and ushered me in quickly. She was already rambling, talking about how excited she was to have a sleepover with me and how it'd been a while since she'd had a good one. My focus was still on the house, though, as the ceilings were high and and the front room I'd stepped into was large. The house seemed furnished modernly, with a neutral color scheme and mint green accents. She set my backpack down by a wide staircase carpeted in the same plush, white material that the rest of the house seemed to be. The lights were off on the landing upstairs but I could see the outlines of couches and a large TV set up in an open space.

She dragged me into the kitchen then, and it was equally as insightful. The whole kitchen was covered in pristine white countertops and dark wood that matched all of the furniture in the house. The appliances were all matching chrome and stainless steel. Just off the kitchen was a rounded area with a small dining set and large windows. Through the open wall to my left I could see a living room set up, decorated with dark seating arrangements and another large TV. The entire house was covered in house plants and greenery.

The house felt unreal, and it was distracting as I took it in. It barely felt lived in. There were hardly any personal touches: no framed family portraits on the wall. On top of that, the house was much larger than my own and I had five people living in mine. Belinda's family was clearly well off.

I tried to shake off the feeling of inadequacy and focused on Belinda, who had just revealed a wine bottle that looked out of a teenager's price range. She got two large wine goblets and poured a little more than she probably should've, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be my only glass. She started talking about how the bottle was a gift from one of her mom's friends as she pulled herself up to sit on the counter. I took a large sip and tried to focus.

She was beautiful, but I'd yet to see her any other way. Her hair was up in a wrap but she wore the lip gloss she'd had on the night we met. She was dressed comfortably in black leggings, an open hoodie, a sports bra, and thick wool socks. Her skin looked like silk, glowing softly under the fluorescent lights of her kitchen. The way her lips looked caressing the glass made me want to kiss her.

"Are you even listening?" she asked.

I snapped out of my daze. I was here to spend a night alone with my girlfriend, not space out to the tune of her.

"No, but I am now," I answered honestly. "I'm sorry, I just managed to distract myself."

"How'd you manage to do that?" she asked. Despite being the one who had talked the most she'd finished her glass of wine already, so she poured another glass. She refilled mine while she was at it.

"It's just, this is a really nice house," I simplified. I took a long sip.

Her eyebrows lowered, although she laughed at me. "Yeah? And?"

"I feel a little out of place is all," I admitted. I decided to change the subject. "Where's your family?" I asked.

"Uh, my only family is my mom," she answered. I leaned against the adjacent countertop as she explained, "My dad dipped before I was born and my brother's in jail for at least another two years."